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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Athlete of the Day---Warren Sapp


Warren Sapp is, without a doubt, the most athletic fat person to ever live. Remember those skills challenge things? He was like a big black ballerina out there with Barry Sanders-like agility, Mack truck power, and fucking crazy eyes. That's a killer trio of physical gifts for a defensive tackle. On the field he stuck fear in the eyes of everyone and their loved ones. He was cocky, crazy, thuggish, and fucking awesome at football, but that's no surprise because it's what football players learn at freshmen orientation at the U. He's had his share of off the field issues. The most recent being is arrest for the assault and battery of his girlfriend. Apparently she was left with a swollen knee and bruises on the back of her neck. I mean it's obvious she was dropping back for a pass, and he executed a flawless swim technique on the left tackle and speared her from her blind side. Classic case of getting Sapped. Anyway, as everyone knows, he put those fantastic feet of his to work on Dancing with the Stars and got runner up. To me, that's fucking incredible.

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