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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Athlete of the Day---Henry Rowengartner


Henry was just your average run of the mill unathletic 12 year old. He was know for being a horrible baseball player. That is until those cool kids were trying to make him look like an idiot in front of the girl who played Julie the Cat in the Mighty Ducks movies were like "hey Rowengartner, catch!" Henry took off after the ball determined to look like a stud. As you all know, he slipped on a baseball, which somehow sent him flying like 15 feet in the air, and broke the shit out of his arm. He was in a cast for a long time, and when he got out of it, his tendons were so tight that he had the ability to throw fucking fire. When he got noticed by the Cub's front office scumbag from Clueless, he started living every non gay kid's dream of somehow playing in the big leagues as a preteen. Henry had a fucking gun for an arm, and with the help of the greatest pitching coach of all time (pictured below looking high as shit) and Chet "the Rocket" Stedman, he became the most dominant closer in the game until he slipped on another ball and lost his power. He still struck out that roided freak with the lob pitch, and the Cubs won the pennant.


PS, he still owns the rights to the most popular shit talking phrase in little league baseball. "Pitcher's got a big butt"

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