The Most American Athlete of the Day

Lt. Tom Kazanski AKA Iceman.

Iceman is probably the coolest guy in the world. He flies jets so well that people say ice runs in his veins, women can’t resist his spiky blonde hair, and he’s definitely going to represent the U.S. in beach volleyball during the next Olympics. At one point he tells Maverick that he’s dangerous. Dude come on, the only thing that’s dangerous is the size of the boner I get when I watch Ice in the volleyball scene. I mean seriously, I almost pass out from lack of blood in my head. Maybe it’s the Kenny Loggins song “playing with the boys” that’s on in the background. No it’s definitely Lt. Kazanski. Iceman, thanks for serving our country and being a shining example of an alpha male; you rock dude.

P.S. Ice is never sorry about the deafening noise that his F-14 Tom Cat produces. As far as he’s concerned it’s just the sound of freedom.


Written by our most American fan Tomcat