Athlete of the Day---Jake Wyler

Jake Wyler is the greatest quarterback to never play in his senior season. Wyler was a dominant quarterback for the John Hughes High School football team before he made an awful decision. The fiery coach told Jake to run the clock out, but he had other plans. Jake wanted to make the worst player on the teams life by throwing him the ball in the endzone. Unfortunately, Jake threw the ball a quarter of a second too late and the retard with the glasses literally broke in half. Although Jake had some problems on the field, he succeeded off it. He transformed the ugliest girl in school, Janey Briggs, into the prom queen. Not to mention Wyler was about the only normal person at John Hughes High. For God's sake his sister wanted to take a dump on his chest and his best friend Austin (the cocky blonde guy) kept saying weird catch phrases like, "Jakey Jakey...'Bout to make a big....MISTAKEY?"

I imagine Jake Wyler got to play quarterback at some division III school somewhere. Atleast I hope so.