Team USA Hockey defeats Swiss 2-0

(See any difference? I dont.)

With a 2-0 win over Switzerland, Team USA moves into the semifinals of the Olympic Hockey Tournament. This is the most excited I've been about hockey since Adam Banks and Charlie Conway led the Team USA Ducks against Iceland in D-2. No matter what happens the rest of the tournament, USA has a shot at a medal.

From what I can tell, this was a pretty dominating performance by the U.S. We out shot Switzerland 44-19. Thats absurd. Whats even worse is that they led in shots 32-8 after two periods. How do you only get off 8 shots in 40 minutes of hockey. Everyone knows that the US only win because of Ryan Miller. The Swiss didn't even make Miller win the game for us, he probably made tougher saves in warmups. Pathetic. Maybe if the Swiss actually fought a war once or twice they would know how to win at sports. But alas, they are pacifist fags and couldn't stand up to the vicious blitzkrieg that is Team USA Hockey. By beating Europeans at their game, America is once again proving its dominance over the rest of the world. The only thing that can derail this train is if coach Ron Wilson goes and gets ice cream in the Olympic Village with the Russian or Canadian trainer. That would suck.

Imagine this video, but replace Gunner Stahl with Sidney Crosby, and Julie the Cat with Ryan Miller