Do you believe in miracles? The United States of AMERICA beat those cocky Canadian fucks last night 5-3. I don't know if a there is a country in the world that is as arrogant about a sport as Canada is about hockey. Maybe it's because they fucking blow at everything else. I'm not saying we're better than Canada at hockey. In fact, I don't even want us to be considered better than Canada at hockey because I love the underdog tag. I mean hockey is a sport that's popular in like 3 states. Massachusetts, Maine, and Minnesota. Canada, as a nation, is defined by hockey. I hope Canada feels even more like our retarded cousin (to quote Tucker Carlson) because I can think of like 5 sports and 3 casual games that Americans care about more than hockey.
As for the game itself, Canada got shots on goal whenever they wanted as they outshot America 45 to 23. This would have mattered if goalie Ryan Miller wasn't a fucking concrete wall with a glove and a stick. I don't care if Gordan Bombay triple dekes glove side in the upper corner, nothing is getting by Ryan Miller. I'm not the world's biggest hockey fan, but I'm learned enough to know that 45 shots on goal and 42 saves is fucking dominant. The NHL leader in saves per game averages like 31. Out of like the 364 hockey games that goalies play every season, they might have that many saves 3 times, so to do it in the Olympics against a team ridden with future hall of famers means something. I'm not downplaying the performance of the US offense. 5 goals on 23 shots? I mean I know Brodeur is old as shit and he's been in the NHL since I was 2 years old, but he's one of the greatest goalies in the history of the sport, and Brian Rafalski made him look totally JV. I know this rant is a little premature considering Canada wasn't eliminated, but it sent a message to the world. And that message comes in the form of a song (see video)
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