Who says girls can't play middle linebacker? Heisman trophy winning pee wee football coach Kevin O'Shea does, that's who. I could never figure out his logic though. I mean she knocked that fat kid with the PB&J in his helmet out fucking cold. Everyone knows girls are bigger than dudes at that age anyway, so why wouldn't O'Shea want her out there knocking little guys' heads off. Nobody wants to see that mack truck cheerleading anyway. Her career went on hiatus when she got a crush on stud QB Junior Floyd, portrayed by that former "heart throb" turned former actor from Final Destination. She dabbled in cheerleading until Hall of Fame, someone check his birth certificate, runningback Spike Hammersmith takes out Junior after the play was over. It was time for the Icebox to suit up. Long story short, she hits Spike like Sean Taylor (RIP) hit that punter in the Pro Bowl, that geek calls "the annexation of Puerto Rico," Giants win, and Danny O'Shea gets the water tower changed to "home of the O'Shea Brothers." "Stick a fork in em baby they're done" - Kevin O'Shea
Jesus....You wrote this whole article about the Icebox without showing some other amazing shit she done. You should watch her sex scene in "Poison Ivy" she definitely filled out that body, and I believe that Junior Floyd would be glad to hook up with her now. - CARL
ReplyDeleteShe did turn into a smokeshow...having said that, the award should have gone to Mike Hammersmith; he is an american hero, a true football man, the ultimate parent. He knows his son is the best thats why he massages Spike's hamstrings with evaporated milk every night before Spike goes to bed. Additioanlly, he asked the only important question of the enitre movie..."Whats that cheerleader doing with a helemt on?" FACT: Women do not need to be on the football field. FACT: when Kevin didn't like that Spike was getting too physcial (his father's advice) Kevin became a pussy...It is football, not Marissa Miller flag football. If you can't handle some contact dont play the game.
ReplyDeleteC'mon Sports Jesus, give some credit where credit is due. Not only did Mike give his son a sweet name like 'Spike Hammersmith' and incredible genes but I guarantee Spike plays college ball at the U, gets arrested for murder, goes to the NFL and becomes THE most intimidating force in the league (making Ray Lewis look like an Olsen twin) ...ALL THANKS TO THE ONE AND ONLY MIKE HAMMERSMITH
-David Simms