Tradition of America's Pastime Threatened by Pinko Congress

What is it? "It's Big Chief-the best. Plug, wad, chewing tobacco, Baccy, man." Congress is discussing the option of trying to make major league baseball ban the use of chewing tobacco. Congress is crying wolf about this, arguing how bad an example these athletes are for kids. Honestly, don't they have enough on their plates right now? First it was steroids, now they're trying to ban something thats been part of the game for over 100 years. Is it really any of Congress' business if a grown athlete wants to throw a lip while playing RF on a Sunday afternoon? Things can get pretty boring in the outfield sometimes, and like they said in the Sandlot, "Yeah, yeah. It Gives you tons of energy." Don't want to be caught sleeping when a line drive gets smoked at your face. Some dike senator from California (shocker) was quoted as saying, "Why don't they just chew gum if they feel the need to chew something?" Fucking liberals. Don't they know anything?