Yeah, assistant greenskeepers can be athletes too. Especially when they've got a green jacket from winning the Masters. That's just what Carl did. He was just a Cinderella boy, an unknown, a nobody, but he shocked the world when he holed a smoked 8 iron from 195 yards on the 18th hole for the win. If you aren't familiar with Spackler, he lives in a maintenance shack on the course, he grows his own grass, he's into watching old ladies play golf, he has a license to kill gophers, he once caddied for the Dali Lama who tried to stiff him after the round, and he has access to ridiculous amounts of plastic explosives. I think the government should look into that. Carl revolutionized the game of golf with his new method for playing holes. His strategy was to hit random irons from any distance eventually holing one of them. Take the way he played the 18th at Augusta for example. He teed off on the 455 yard hole with a smooth 2 iron that went about 105 yards. No need to get aggressive right? His second shot was a pure as silk 5 iron from 350 yards. Brilliant. For his 3rd and final shot, he hit the 8 iron heard round the world from 195 yards straight into the hole. Fucking genius. He must have absolutely nuked that thing.
I wonder if he's still working at Bushwood?
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