This signing doesn't really mean much, Rex will either back up JC or be the third stringer if Shanny wants to give Colt Brennan a shot if anything were to happen to JC. Since then, he left Chicago and spent last year as the backup in Houston with new Skins OC Kyle Shannahan. Rex loves throwing the ball deep, here's a pretty accurate description of his thought process during games:
"Is that Berrian? I think he’s triple-covered. You know what? Fuck it. I’m throwing it downfield.
Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.
What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.
Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.
Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.
This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.
How stupid can one person be? Last season, Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli emerged as a future star. He was even being considered as a Heisman candidate for the 2010-2011 season. That is until he decided to get together with running back LaMichael James and place kicker Rob Beard (haha) and steal 2 laptops and a guitar from the SAE house. This stuff seems to happen all the time with college athletes. All these guys have to do is coast for 2-4 years without getting in trouble with the law and they go to the pros and make millions. Doesn't seem that hard right? I mean all he had to do was play one more season, go to the NFL, and fucking buy a laptop. Or 100 laptops. It doesn't matter he'd be a millionaire. The only bright spot in this is that they obviously weren't looking to sell them. Masoli and James probably just wanted laptops and figured rich white dudes had awesome ones. Maybe even a Mac or something. I think Rob Beard tagged along because he was looking for a new axe so he could work on a music career because football wasn't working out.
"The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta...The major championships have always been a special focus in my career and, as a professional, I think Augusta is where I need to be, even though it's been a while since I last played." - Tiger Woods
Thank God Tiger is coming back. The thought of watching golf hasn't even crossed my mind this year. I love golf, but Tiger is what makes me a fan of it. It isn't a surprise that he's coming back at the Masters considering his history there and also the controlled nature of the fans and media. There was some talk of him returning at Bay Hill. This would have been smart from a golf standpoint because of how dominant he is there, but I think returning at the Masters is smart for his image. I really hope he's in contention so me and the rest of the folks at my school can have a more enjoyable recovery on Greek Week Sunday.
PS, and the Reggie for most unsuccessful high five goes to...Tiger and Stevie. Unless they were going for the classic forearm connection.
If someone asked you who the best basketball player to come out of Oakland was, what would you say? If you thought of Jason Kidd, Drew Gooden, Gary Payton, Brian Shaw, or Antonio Davis you'd be wrong. Every single one of these guys will swear to you that the best player from Oakland is Demetrius "Hook" Mitchell. Hook grew up on the mean streets of Oaktown and played street ball with all these NBA ballers growing up. Hook never made it to the NBA because he predictably fell into a life of drugs and crime and ended up in the slammer. He's only 5'9, but can throw down some of the most ridiculous dunks ever. Hook says he started dunking at 5'3, and shattered a backboard on a dunk when he was only 5'5. Jason Kidd said his skills don't even compare to Hooks. "If he'd just kept his head straight, he'd be dominating in the NBA right now." Brian Shaw compares him to a multitude of NBA stars, "He could handle the ball with the Marbury's and the Iversons. He had the competitiveness of Michael Jordan." Pretty high praise coming from some lifetime NBAer's. Too bad he fucked it all up. Hook tried out for the Warriors when he got out of jail, but got cut because he was old as F. Now he's a AAU coach for a well known team in Oakland. (go figure) Anyways, theres no denying Hook could throw it down. Here's some videos to feast on.
So Virginia Tech was denied access to the big dance again. They probably deserved to get in this year more than the previous seasons, so me and my imagination decided to get to the bottom if this annual occurrence. Before I rant about Tech, I'd like to say that my parents went there so I kinda like them. Okay so the obvious reason they didn't get in is their non conference strength of schedule. I don't know exactly what goes into the schedule making process, but I really don't know why they can't get decent teams outside of the ACC to play them. The only in state teams they played were VMI and fucking Longwood. For Tech to begin to build a good non conference schedule they need to man up and play Richmond, VCU, or ODU. They probably have some ACC superiority complex where they think they're too good to play small state schools if they aren't a guaranteed blowout. A less obvious reason why they never get at large bids is their thuggery. There's always a potential for a guns drawn brawl when the Hokies take the floor. Also, the NCAA doesn't want to see Jeff Allen give another ref a shoulder bump while walking to the bench after fouling out. That was one of the most boneheaded things I've ever seen a college player do. Lastly, I think the tournament committee gets some sick satisfaction from hearing Seth Greenberg whine after not getting invited. I bet right after the selection show, they gather around the TV with superbowl type snacks and beers to listen to him. It's funny how he always seems to call Sportscenter like 5 seconds after the show. It's like Groundhog Day. He used some restraint this year unlike that time when he said that the committee should be institutionalized. Anyway, Virginia Tech basketball will probably continue to be the only ACC team who can't get in the tournament without winning the conference tournament. I mean they were only allowed in the ACC for their football program anyway right?
Tournament time is finally here which means there is Christmas/Easter/Birthday combined excitement for the Sports on the Reg squad. Being a self-proclaimed "bracketologist," I want to take some time to break down some key matchups in each region. I can't reveal too much because I'll be taking a lot of ya'lls money in bracket pools, but I can share some of my opinions.
Midwest Region
This might be the most poorly constructed region in the last decade. How on Earth did the tournament committee put Kansas, Michigan State, Maryland, Oklahoma State, Georgetown, and Ohio State in the same fucking region? It's like they thought "Oh let's put the most dangerous championship contenders in the same region so they have a better chance of playing each other. That'll get people to watch the early rounds." Great fucking going dudes. Maybe I'm the only one, but I really wanted to see Ohio State play Kansas for the Championship. Also they stacked the bottom half of the region and gave Kansas a fucking cakewalk (whatever that means) to the Elite 8. I'm only looking forward to watching one first round game in this region. Oklahoma State vs Georgia Tech. It'll be a classic finesse (Okst) against power (GT) game. Georgia Tech probably won't get the win, but it'll be close. I'm putting Tennessee on the upset watch in the 6-11 matchup against San Diego State. San Diego State beat UNLV twice this year and have 2 pure shooters in D.J. Gay and Chase Tapley. Tennessee just doesn't put up enough points to win tournament games. I thought their size would help them win, but sdst just happens to start 3 guys who are 6'7" or taller. This might be the only upset in the first round of this region. Northern Iowa 9 will beat UNLV 8, but that's not an upset because I'm pretty sure 9 seeds win the 8-9 matchup more than 8 seeds.
West Region
This might be the weakest region in the bracket. Syracuse and K-State are good but not Kansas Ohio State good. Look for Syracuse to lose to Butler in the Sweet 16. That is if Butler can squeak by UTEP in the first round. The first round matchup with the most upset potential is Murray State 13 vs Vandy 4. I think if K-State can lockdown BYU's shooters in the 2nd round, they will end up beating Butler in the Elite 8 to go to the Final Four.
East Region
This is my favorite region because a Kentucky West Virginia matchup in the Elite 8 is basically a lock. I'm so excited to see two big, athletic, and immature teams get extremely physical. That game will get so chippy that it could come down to who brought their gun to the arena. Everything about this matchup is perfect, but I'm not going to tell you who is going to win it. Everyone is high on Cornell because of their combination of size and shooting, but I think they will lose to Temple in the first round. I think Rick Barnes gets his shit together enough to beat Wake in the first round. Upset watch: Washington over Marquette in the 6-11 matchup.
South Region
The only team in this region that interests me at all is Richmond. I think they got fucked by drawing Saint Mary's in the first round, but they'll still win. I'm praying for a Richmond vs Duke Elite 8 matchup. It's very possible considering the Arachnids, if they get out of the first round, only have to beat Nova and Notre Dame to get there. Duke will casually stroll to the Elite 8 then have a low scoring and liberal battle of the brains with Richmond. Duke will win because of free throw shooting down the stretch. As Slam mentioned, Purdue is on upset watch in their 5-12 matchup with giant killer extraordinaire Siena.
The time has come for most exciting venue in all of sports: The NCAA Basketball Tournament. After watching some unforgettable conference tourneys it's now time to find out who the best team in the nation is. I just watched bracketology and was pretty content with the way things turned out. I was ecstatic to see that the ghetto Virginia Tech basketball team led by one of the biggest scumbags on earth Seth Greenberg missed the cut. For those of you who don't know, Seth Greenberg wouldn't even give Stephen Curry a chance to walk-on to the Hokie basketball team because he wasn't big enough. Great call there.
My first piece of advice when filling out your bracket is to look out for the potentially dangerous underdogs that have a history of upsetting the top seeds. For example, Siena always seems to make the tourney and they are a playing Purdue team without their best player (Robbie Hummel) so pick Siena to advance. Another upset waiting to happen is San Diego State over the Tennessee Vols. (Does anyone else wonder how Wayne Chism's headband stays on his head during the game?) If Georgia Tech beats Oklahoma State, I wouldn't be surprised to see them upset #2 seed Ohio State and Evan Turner in the second round. Either way that has the potential to be one of the most exciting games of the tourney with Turner going up against Derek Favors and Gani Lawal. I see Villanova advancing to the elite 8 but I guarantee they will have a very tough battle against Richmond assuming the Spiders beat Saint Marys. This game matches up two of the best backcourts in the country with Corey Fisher and Scottie Reynolds taking on Kevin Anderson and David Gonzalvez.
This is my first draft and I may change it between now and Thursday, but my Elite 8 is shaping up like this: Kansas, Georgetown, Syracuse, Pittsburgh, Kentucky, West Virginia, Villanova, and Duke. I know there aren't many upsets here and I wouldn't be surprised if some of these teams lose early but this is what I'm going with because I can see some other top seeds (Kansas State, Baylor, Purdue, New Mexico) exiting early due to lack of tournament experience. I see Kansas, Syracuse, Kentucky, and Villanova in the Final Four with Kansas and Bill Self beating the "King of all scumbags" John Calipari and Kentucky in the championship. I see this year being a repeat of 08 when Kansas beat Memphis (then coached by Calipari) in the finals. The parallels between the 08 season and now are ridiculously similiar in that Memphis had then freshman Derek Rose leading them and taking on an experienced Kansas team led by senior Mario Chalmers. This year it will be John Wall taking on the seasoned vet and senior leader Sherron Collins. History shows championship teams always have a consistent point guard with a good assist to turnover ratio and experienced players who rebound and make free throws. Kansas is the only team, in my opinion, that fills this void and this is why I see them taking home the ship.
According to ESPN, the Redskins have signed Larry Johnson to a 3-year deal. Johnson marks the 4th free agent signing of the offseason for the Skins. So far the Skins have stayed quiet and signed relative unknowns to help fill holes. Johnson is without a doubt the splash of their free agent class so far.
As a fan, I fucking hate this signing. Even though he's only gonna be the #2 back, I still can't see how this makes sense. We already have a malcontent in the backfield, and now we just went out and added a huge douche to back him up. I was all for addressing the RB situation this offseason by adding a young, fast back through FA or the Draft to compliment aging Clinton Portis. I don't see how Johnson fits the teams needs right now. He's 30 years old, hasn't gone over 1000 yards since 2006 (1789 yds), hasn't played in more than 12 games since then as well, and to top it off he's a disgruntled, ignorant egomaniac that has no business being on the Redskins radar at this point in his career. I hate him, he's a punk bitch that had 2 good seasons and thought he was the shit. Johnson said he imagines he and Portis forming a combination like he did with Priest Holmes back in the day. What an absurd comment, dude must be smoking some good crack to believe that. This signing by Bruce Allen and Shanny is a real step out on a limb, and is something that has the potential to be a BOOM or BUST situation. If it works well then fuck me, right. At least they didn't give him a huge contract (3.5 mil for 3 yrs) like the past idiots running the team would have.
"Strip clubs are like regular clubs, but, you know, I haven't been in a strip club in... what, 2 years now, a year and a half, a year and uh, almost 3 years, whatever it is." --Pacman Jones interview talking about the incident he was involved in at the "scrip club" where a man was paralyzed. He goes on to say, "you know I live and I learn, I liked the scrip clubs"
Check out this video of the interview...hope you can decipher it.
PS- Pay attention to how James Brown leads into the convo, "What is it about strip clubs that you can't stay away?" What a stupid question James. If I had to guess, it's probably the booze, tits, and asses everywhere that keeps him coming back. A vicious cycle that no man can resist forever.
Reggie Williams was a dominant scorer for VMI. He led the NCAA in scoring twice. I was extremely worried that he would slip through the cracks in the D League and never get a shot. He was averaging like 30 points per game but wasn't getting any love from the NBA. It was getting annoying watching guys like Garrett Temple get called up who was averaging around 14 points 6 assists per game when Reggie was rotting in the D League throwing up 40 point games on the reg. Anyway, deranged coach Don Nelson and his group of crazies known as the Warrior's organization had a moment of sanity when a light bulb went off in their heads. Maybe this Williams guy can play. Well he has played in 5 games with the Warriors and is doing well when he gets minutes. Last night he scored 28 points and had 6 assists and just 1 turnover in 36 minutes of action. Let's see Sundiata Gaines do that. Gaines is so lucky he made that game winner because you can't cut a guy who sticks a fadeaway 3 pointer at the buzzer to beat the Cavs while he's on his 10 day contract. It doesn't matter how terrible he was before that shot and has been since. They're stuck with him. I swear if Reggie gets cut, the Warriors organization needs to be shipped off to Shutter Island.
Alright guys I know a lot of you may have seen this, but I'm hoping some of you haven't because the first time I saw it I was mesmerized. About two weeks ago I was sitting at the lunch table with a couple of my friends and mentioned this clip. I was surprised to hear that most of them had seen it too, but they said it was worthy for TheReg. We don't see shit like this in baseball anymore. I don't know who this guy thinks he is, but he must have some personal issues like thinking everyone is out to get him. His paranoia reminds me of that stoner in high school that sits in the back corner dead quiet staring at the map of Europe like it's the fucking Holy Grail. After ALMOST getting hit by the pitch, he manages to kick the catcher in the face and then take on the entire opposing team by himself. Nevertheless it makes for some great entertainment.
Nice haircut Ron. All that shit in his hair is supposed to mean "defense" in a couple languages. Its stuff like this that makes Ron Ron such a headache. I bet Kobe was furious when he saw this. Not only do the Lakers have to worry about their 3 game skid and their 5-8 record against division leaders, but now Ron is pulling a Dennis Rodman on them. Ron's been behaving well for too long now, and its really fucking with his head. You can tell he wants cut out the good behavior and start doing hood shit with his friends. Expect him to do something stupid in the near future. Don't know what its going to be yet, but Ron's going to get shithammered and do something to remind us all of what an idiot he is.
The Monsters of March are no more. New coach Mike Shannahan and a new GM, Bruce Allen have for the time being changed the way the Redskins operate. There is actually a ray of hope coming from Redskins Park this year instead of the continual fear that I have felt knowing the management was doing all it could to sink the ship further. For the past 10 years the Skins have opted to set the free agent market instead of sitting back and building through the draft. While this strategy has produced headlines and off-season excitement, it has brought nothing but embarrassment and pain for Skins fans, as we have watched our once proud franchise morph into a running joke.
The team made an unexpected move cutting 10 aging veterans last week. The uncapped year has been a godsend in that we have been able to get rid of the financially restricting contracts of past their prime players that the old regime somehow saw fit to reward with big deals. Hopefully, the Front Office's meticulous approach to free agency continues. On the other hand, this team does have a lot of holes that need to be filled soon in order to prevent another disaster in 2010. The offensive line has to be the number 1 priority this year. We ignored it last year, and went into the season with 5 backups who had never started an NFL game before. Three injuries to starters later, and you have the most pathetic excuse for an NFL line in the history of the game.
The team took a step in that direction yesterday, announcing the signing of G/T Artis Hicks yesterday. Hicks, an 8 year NFL vet, who recently played for the Vikings, can play 4 positions on the line, and will serve as a stopgap until the lineman we have to draft this year are ready. While this isn't some magic fix, it does reveal an actual plan, something that we never saw from past regimes. In going after versatile vets, and signing them to short contracts, it seems to me that the Skins will draft lineman with high picks this year. Having vets on the team with experience allows these kids to come in without pressure and learn before being thrown in the mix. In my opinion we have to spend at least 3 picks this year on offensive lineman, including the 4th overall pick if Russell Okung is available. Shannahan has a rep for finding lineman in the middle rounds who fit his zone blocking scheme. He needs to prove that this year. Anyone who thinks the QB is the real problem is a moron. Peyton Manning couldn't win behind the clowns we trot out there every week. JC may not be the end all answer, but I'm convinced he could win behind a solid line. In the coming weeks, look for the team to bring in veteran lineman who have experience at multiple spots on the line.
So far the team seems focused on improving its weaknesses. This can only be good. Also look for them to address the RB,DT, LB, and hopefully FS positions this off-season. Willie Parker has scheduled a visit in Ashburn on Monday, and don't forget about LT and Brian Westbrook out there as well. Larry Foote is on their radar screen as a MLB to team with Pro Bowler London Fletcher in the new 3-4 defense. They also need a DT with 3-4 experience because Fat Al is going to bitch all year if he is stuck eating blockers. Big Off-season for the Skins in many ways, lets see what they can do.
Here's the play-by-play: It's a nice cool night in Havana ladies and gentleman....Fidel finishes up his speech to rally his fellow Commies....takes a well deserved sip of water.....starts his walk to the finish line with the crowd applauding and..... Oh my God Johnny! Castro misses the last stair, I can't believe it, he missed the last stair! I DON'T BELIEVE...............WHAT I JUST SAW!
Chris Samuels joined the Skins as part of the 2000 draft class that included Lavar Arrington. Since then, he has been a staple at left tackle for the skins. Despite the rotating door of coaches, systems, and quarterbacks, Samuels has remained entrenched at left tackle for 10 years. A perennial Pro Bowler, Samuels has been one of the best, most consistent offensive tackles in the league the past decade. I would say had it not been for the likes of Jon Ogden and Walter Jones he would have been the best. Plus he wears a beastly neck roll. I wore a neck roll in high school to try and look like Samuels, not because I was afraid of neck injuries. Samuels is one of the good guys, and you hate seeing him forced to end his career because of injury. But if my spine was shrinking and the next hit could paralyze me I'd retire and sit on my $60 mill too.
PS- check out this video of Samuels laughing while Clinton Portis defends Mike Vick. Only stupid thing he's done in his career.
Doc Rivers is the idiut of the week for being a terrible judge of talent. The Celtics made a deal with the Knicks where a lot of players got moved. One of these guys was Bill Walker. I know the Celtics were thinking they were just dumping a guy with terrible knees who wouldn't get on the court unless it's in the D League, but he is for real. I've been saying it since he was at K-State with Beasley, he has star potential. He has a great midrange jumper and is decent from 3. Also, he has Vince Carter-like style when he dunks. Some people just know how to make a dunk look awesome without jumping 45 inches in the air. Bill Skywalker's got it down to a science. Back to Doc. How do you let a talent like this slip through the cracks? So what if he has a history of bad knee injuries. If he can still run and jump better than 95% of the NBA, is the perfect size for a shooting guard, can shoot, and is healthy, let him play! Mike D'Antoni lets him play, and he's averaging 21.5 points in the starting line up and is rocking the rim on the reg. Doc didn't like Walker's attitude. Did he think he was getting an upgrade in character by adding Nate Robinson? Idiut.
"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the klan." - Charles Barkley
Talk about doing anything for a buck huh? I don't want to speculate what job the klan would give him, but I guarantee you it wouldn't be something like treasurer or secretary.
Chet "the Rocket" Steadman is your classic aging pitcher who is past his glory days. Equipped with a bum arm and a mustache, Steadman sets out to be a mentor to young Henry. He was skeptical of the kids at first, but I mean who wouldn't feel threatened by a 12 year old who can throw it faster than fuck. The Rocket is more than just a great mentor for Henry. He is also a father figure in Henry's life. This guy is so selfless it's unbelievable. If I were an aging pitcher with an arm that could rip off the next time I threw it, and some little kid walked into the locker room and, with a voice squeak, says "Hi! I'm Henry Rowengartner! I'm the new pitcher!" I'd call a retirement press conference faster than you can say I. Queue the mid life crisis. So kudos to Chet for hanging in there.
PS, I'd nominate Chet Steadman for "Name of the Decade"
Fast forward the video to the 1 minute mark. The beginning is retarded
With their win last night over the U, North Carolina became the 2nd team in the history of college basketball to reach 2000 wins. This season as a whole may have been a HUGE disappointment, but this milestone goes beyond one bad season. As if the heels needed to add more to their resume as one of the greatest programs in college sports. Kentucky reached the 2000 mark earlier this season, but Sports Jesus did his homework. Kentucky has had a basketball program for 7 more years than Carolina. Boom. Duke has 1852 wins in 4 more seasons than the Tar Heels. UNC's overall winning percentage is like .730. UK and Duke are sitting at a JV .690. In the spirit of this extremely rare and dominant milestone, I've decided to collaborate with some of my Tar Heel friends to compile a top five list of the greatest moments in the history of Carolina basketball so enjoy.
5. Wayne's World In 2008 Wayne Ellington hit a shot that broke every Clemson fan's heart. Now there have been plenty of awesome buzzer beaters in Carolina basketball history, but I chose this one because it was at Clemson, in overtime, we were down 1, and the reactions were priceless. I also love this play because you know as soon as David Potter missed that steal, every single Clemson fan alive or dead said "Ohhhh fuck." You also have to love the whole Carolina bench hunched over locking arms in anticipation of the shot. College basketball at its finest. The funny part about the video is Roy Williams' reaction. You know he wanted jump up and down screaming then point at Oliver Purnell and say, "maybe next year chump," but he kept it classy and did the classic single clap, then he turned to Holliday for a low profile fist pound. Awesome.
4. The Celebration
In the 2008 ACC tournament, Tyler Hansbrough hit a game winner against Virginia Tech. I love this play because it was just so classic Tyler. He seeked out that rebound like fucking mad man as always then he stuck a dagger in Seth Greenberg's heart. What people don't realize about this shot is the fact that he got fouled. Hard. The video quality isn't great so you can't see it very well, but #10 karate chopped the shit out of Tyler's right arm when he went up for the shot. You can't even notice because he's like 50 times stronger than that guy, but if it were anyone else they wouldn't have even gotten the shot up. Now a game winning 15 footer when the game was tied may not seem like a top 5 moment in Carolina basketball history, but the 3 seconds following the shot puts this moment securely at the number 4 spot. Have you ever seen a more raw and just flat out victorious celebration? I guarantee you he has no recollection of what he did. A highstepping, maniac punching the air is what you get when a crazy person gets a rush of adrenaline. What if people were in his path? The headline would have read "Five Dead and Two Wounded as Crazed Maniac Reacts to Game Winning Shot"
3. Marvelous Marvin
Back in 2005, Marvin Williams hit a ridiculous game winner against Duke. This shot alone is in the top 5, but it made number 3 because Carolina was down 9 with 3 minutes to play. Also, for a freshmen to hit this shot, get fouled, then step up to the stripe like he fucking owned the place and nail the free throw is incredible. This shot is near and dear to my heart because I was there. My hearing hasn't been the same since. I think I high fived 15 people sitting near me. I was so close to jumping off the second level and rushing the court before the game was over. Just look at the crowd and the team when that shot goes in.
2. Not So Fab 5
The 1993 national championship game between Carolina and Michigan will live forever as one of the most famous endings to a game in basketball history. Both teams had been battling all game, but with 18 seconds left on the clock, Chris Webber was possessed by the aliens from Space Jam causing him to make 3 and a half critical basketball errors in about 10 seconds. First, he clearly walked. I mean come on ref. It was one of the most obvious walks I've ever seen. Second, he decides to take it up the court himself instead of giving it to a guard. Third (this is the half) he may have walked again right before he called time out. Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt because he fucked up so bad. Just kidding, yeah he walked. Ref! Finally, he made the most famous mistake in the history of college basketball. Down 2 with only seconds left, Webber decides he wants to call a time out to talk it over and draw up a last second play. Uhhh, Chris. Basketball 101 dude. You're not aloud to call time out when you don't have any left. It's an automatic tech. Long story short, C-Webb blew it worse than Bill Buckner in game 6 of the 86' World Series, and Carolina won the championship.
1. Jordan.
In the 1982 national championship game, freshmen Michael Jordan hit the game winning shot against Patrick Ewing and the Georgetown Hoyas. There's not much else to say about that. What were the chances of him missing that shot? What are the chances of me dunking? I'm talking about beyond mega millions odds.
PS, I wonder who was on suicide watch in Fred Brown's room that night. His face is in the dictionary under the word oops.
Well there you have it. The longest post in blogging history.
Readers,
I want to apologize for the JVness of the website over the last few days. I was too busy shooting fucking 82 85 in the snow in a college golf tournament. I was just too pissed off to even try to write anything. Tiny and Slam were out of town as well so there so no one was manning the site. We're sorry, and we'll be back on the varsity team this week. Please continue to spread the word about the site.
A lot can be said about Ron Artest and his issues on and off the court, but no one could ever criticize his defense. He somehow finds a way to channel his severe mental issues and be an absolute lockdown defender. Everyone knows he's fucking weird and crazy, but he's able to be weird and crazy on the basketball without killing people (minus the Malice at the Palace in 2004). In his last 5 games his opponents, who are usually the other team's best scorer, are averaging just 14 points. Ron is averaging 3 steals in that stretch, but that doesn't even do his defense justice. You have to watch a Laker game really close to see exactly what he does. Averaging 3 steals a game is impressive, but I bet he causes at least 7 turnovers per game. He his constantly poking and prodding and annoying the shit out of his man with crafty techniques like face guarding and stepping on feet. He's the most active defender in the game and in his last 5 games he has averaged only 1.4 fouls. Last night Danny Granger, one of the highest volume shooters in the league, only got 9 shots off and made 2 of them. He also turned it over 4 times which is a whole lot for shooters like him. We can laugh all we want at Ron's quotes, pictures, arrests, rap albums, pre and mid game drinking, and just the way he lives his life in general, but you know he keeps guys up at night when they're about to play the Lakers. I mean I wouldn't want to get within 500 yards of the guy, and they have to be shadowed by him for 48 minutes. I'm tempted to file for a restraining order, and he's across the country, and I've never met him. You can never be too careful.
"I ain't an athlete lady, I'm a baseball player" - John Kruk
Professional baseball is amazing. MLB is the only sport in the world where you can make millions of dollars pretending to be an athlete. John Kruk is the perfect example of this. Just look at the guy. Many people will argue that baseballs players are exceptional athletes, and there are without a doubt great athletes who play the game. But don't let them convince you its a universal truth because guys like Kruk, David Wells, and even Babe Ruth have proved that you can eat and drink all the time and still be a successful baseball player. Kruk somehow managed to become a 4-time All-Star and batted .300 for his career. He ended his career in a pretty unique, awesome way too. After hitting a single against Baltimore in 1995 in the first inning he simply walked out of the dugout, showered, met his family, and left the stadium never to play again.
I talk a lot of shit about Larry Drew II on this website. I think he is the sole reason we have lost so many games this season. Even when he had a decent game (10 points 8 assists 3 TOs) and the Heels beat Wake, he still did everything in his power to lose it. He went 4-12 from the charity stripe, and most of his attempts came in the last 3 minutes. When Roy starts screaming at you and showing you proper form from the sidelines, there's an issue. Anyway apparently he's thinking about leaving UNC and going to the West Coast. He knows he'll be right back on the bench next year with 5 star point guard Kendall Marshall coming in. I thought I'd be excited to hear about Larry leaving, but I'm realizing that I'd be happy for Larry the starting PG to get the fuck out, but Larry the backup PG can and should stick around. He's not a pro prospect. Winning a 2nd national championship in 3 years will do a lot more for his career than playing for any other team. Don't be selfish Larry Drew Two.
To follow up Slams' American Gladiator post I figured I would post my favorite American Gladiators highlight of all time. Prepare to witness pure, unadulterated athleticism. Reminds me of my glory days.
Malibu from American Gladiators has got to be the most exciting Gladiators ever (sorry Maximus Decimus Meridius). His blonde hair, muscular frame, and surfer persona have people running and screaming like the Japs just saw Godzilla. Prior to joining American Gladiators Malibu toured the professional racquetball circuit for three years. Jesus Christ, imagine playing racquetball against this beast I'm sure he only won based on pure intimidation. He is also trained in Karate(Quite the pedigree I would say). I would like to see Malibu take on Jersey Shore Guido Ronnie in a cage match and I guarantee Ronnie wouldn't be running around screaming "ONE SHOT, ONE SHOT!" after the battle. This has got to be one of the funniest clips I've ever seen along with George Brett's shitting his pants epic. "I took....the most...excellent hit...of my life"
