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The Braves are finally looking like contenders for a World Series for the first time since the 90s. They have the next superstar in rookie Jason Heyward. This 20 year old from Ridgewood, NJ is 6'4" 220lbs. He hits for contact and power, has a canon designed to gun down idiots who try to stretch for an extra base, and is lightening quick. He's displayed so much talent and maturity for his age that he will be inserting directly into the starting lineup without spending any time in the minors. Can you say Ken Griffey Jr? You add him with the regular crew plus some other new faces, a rock solid pitching rotation with both young studs and savvy vets, and the motivation to win a championship for Bobby Cox in what is most likely to be his last season, and you've got a team with as good a chance as any to go the distance.
You gotta love second tier pro sports leagues. Coaches and players don't get paid shit so they can flip the fuck out and it doesn't even matter. Check out this hockey coach going bananas over what was probably a routine bad call.
Joey Porter was arrested Saturday for suspected DUI, assaulting an officer, and resisting arrest. He has come out today saying that the officer "manhandled and struck" him in the face. Is he serious? Unless he was pulled over by the Terminator or Robocop, I don't think there's a donut's chance in Kirstie Alley's house that Joey Porter got manhandled by a Bakersfield police officer. Apparently Porter refused to give the officer his drivers license so the officer tried to unlock the door and good ol' Joey gave him a slap on the hand. There's nothing out about exactly when or how the officer displayed this alleged police brutality so I've come up with a play-by-play of what probably happened. Joey stopped to get a late night crunchwrap supreme from taco bell. He was trying to eat it in the car so he swerved a little leaving the parking lot catching the eye of deputy Jeritt Greer who pulled him over. Greer asked Porter for his license and registration to which Joey replied, "no dude, I'm trying to eat my fucking Taco Bell." and locked the door. Greer, smelling alcohol and wanting Joey's crunchy taco and a sip of Baja Blast, tried to reach in the car to unlock the door. Using his off-hand, Joey smacked Greer's hand and said, "you must be out of your mind if you think you're getting my crunchy taco or a sip of my Baja Blast. Besides, I already ate the taco." Crushed, the deputy decided to get him back by making him do a breathalyzer test. Joey refused so Greer snatched the crunchwrap out of his hand (manhandled him) and ate it right in his face (something involving Joey's face). Joey, realizing he was defeated, took the breathalyzer test and blew a .08. There's a +/- of .02 so the investigation is still in progress.
The North Carolina Tar Heels beat Rhode Island in the NIT semifinals last night, in a forgettably sloppy game. The Heels shot an insulting 34.9% from the field (11.8% from deep 50% from the stripe) while Rhode Island 36.8%. How fucking miserable is that? Welcome to the NIT I guess. UNC has totally backed into championship. I'm actually 100% sure that they didn't want to win last night. I mean Will Graves tripped that guy on Rhode Island! The funniest part about it is that Roy even said it was a foul. I loved his quote about the NIT that he gave after the game. He said, "You know, I have a great appreciation of this tournament, I have a great appreciation of the tradition, the history of the NIT. If you win this tournament, you have to feel good about it." Maybe I'm reaching a little here, but it seems like he's saying that the NIT has a great HISTORY. He doesn't say anything about the modern NIT. Yeah, the NIT does have a great history, but that was back when the only way teams could make the NCAA tournament was by winning their conference championship. The NIT was full of teams that deserved to go to the Big Dance. Now it's just full of terrible teams getting invitations out of charity. Roy also says "you have to feel good about it." Yeah he may have meant it in a good way, but he could have also meant that you have to act like you feel good about it because you'd get shit on by the media if you said you didn't care about winning. Anyway, I'm expecting to see Roy and the boys wearing brown bags over their heads in front of the far from sold out crowd at Madison Square Garden. Go Heels.
"The other night I watched ESPN’s 30 for 30 Small Potatoes Who Killed The USFL, and it really made me start thinking, why has a Spring Football League never worked.I mean I realize that Donald Fat Fuck Trump killed the USFL, but what happened to the XFL?The XFL had a much better shot at making it, than the USFL.When you take Vince McMahon, the founder WCW Monday Night RAW (possibly the best Monday night show next to MNF), and let him create a football league, how could it fail?McMahon introduced many things to the league that he thought would make it a success, and a lot of these things are still around today.First he had the overhead cam, he was the first, and now every major college and NFL stadium has this. Also he let the players put whatever the F they wanted to on their jersey.Do you remember Rod “He Hate Me” Smart?The badass running back that led the Chicago Outlaws to a 5 and 5 season?“He Hate Me” puts that on his back in ’01, and then we get copycat Chad OchoCinco/ChildPlease in ’08/’09.Very original Chad.Next McMahon implements the best 8 mascots ever: Orlando Rage, Memphis Maniax, New York/New Jersey Hitmen, B-ham Thunderbolts, LA Xtreme, Chicago Enforcers, San Fan Demons, and the Las Vegas Outlaws. How sweet would it be to play for one of those teams?Fucking Awesome if you ask me.
The rules were changed to make the game much more physical as well.Instead of a coin toss, a player from each team would line up on opposite 30 yard lines and a ball was placed on the 50.There would then be a 2 person train wreck at the 50, which usually ended in a no holds bar fight, and who ever got ball, won the toss.SWEET.Then Vince eliminated field goals, because they were “too easy” which is true.Finally towards the end of the season when the ratings were starting to go south, Vince added one more dose of manliness to the game by adding a cheerleader cam, which would solely film the stripers/cheerleaders all game, so if they game got boring they would switch to that camera.If the XFL were still alive, there is no doubt in my mind that everybody would gather to watch games like it was Sunday night and The Pacific was on."
P.S. Who remembers Brian Bozworth from the Miami vs Oklahoma National Championship game?
This post was written by one of our most loyal followers and frequent commenter CARL
Mark "the mad dog" Madsen might be the luckiest bench warmer in the history of the NBA. Yeah a lot of players have ridden the pine all the way to a championship ring, but he rode it to back to back ships. Mad Dog was an extremely successful college player at Stanford being named an All American twice. His NBA career will always be defined by that unbelievable dance he did while Shaq rapped. Check out the video it looks like he's dancing to "Cotton-eyed Joe." Awesome. The sad part is that he's not even the star of the video. Al McGuire absolutely stole the show with his moves at the end.
This is the greatest white dance video ever. Watch this dude cut up a fucking rug. Also be sure to check out his friend dancing behind him. One of the funniest things I've ever seen
Has there ever been a more dominant force in the history of pee wee hockey than Adam Banks? I mean he doesn't quite have Gordon Bombay talent, but he wants it more (to quote Coach Jack Reilly). As we all know, the moment Bombay realized that Banksy actually lived in District 5, he changed Minnesota pee wee and prep school hockey forever. Not to mention the entire fucking world (see D2). Banksy led by example. Remember when Coach Reilly told those two guys to knock Banksy out of the game? They broke his wrist, but the best part was when one of the kids says, "what did you do?" In this like shaky crying mortified tone, and the big kid goes, "my job." Doesn't that seem like they just murdered Banksy? Powerful shit. If you really think about it, weren't they murdering the entire Ducks team? Not on Banksy's watch. As you all know the Ducks rallied and won the title. If it wasn't for Bombay's whack job test to see if Banksy's wrist was okay, they would have been blowing teams out of the water with a true superstar running the show. Banksy's talent was somehow able to turn that city pee wee title into an invitation to represent the United States of America in the world championship. If that doesn't bring a patriotic tear to your eyes then you're not a real American. Cake eaters
I think the time has come for the Washington Wizards (my team) to find some odd loophole in the whole NBA salary system and somehow dump EVERYONE and bring in the Dakota Wizards of the NBDL. Just sign them all to minimum deals. They'd be fucking ecstatic. They have a winning record in the D-league, and brought how a trophy in '07. I could see them actually winning some games just out of sheer excitement and energy because their dreams are coming true. Then trade the ones with any value, keep a couple,dump the rest, draft John Wall or Evan Turner, and sign Bosh, Wade, AND Bron. I mean I'm sure that would be breaking a million rules and we might have to deal with just Bron and Bosh, but can you imagine it? John Wall, Bron, Wade, Bosh, and Connor Atchley (from the D-league) with stars in his eyes? The Wizards would be on TV so much they'd get airtime on TNT for practices. GET ME RAUL FERNANDEZ ON THE PHONE!
PS Wizards 103 Lakers 115 but who even looks at Wizards scores anymore. I bet you would if Connor Atchley and the boys from Dakota were playing the Bron and the Cavs. Big story on ESPN would be Bron to the Wiz? He was mingling with Obama before the game and was wearing a Nats hat when he left.
Since we have so many new fans I've decided to repost some of my old favorites from back when we got like 20 views per day. Enjoy!
John "the Grand Wizard" Rocker is the athlete of the day. I mean look at that physique. Perfect for rippin homers over center. Wait a minute. Wasn't the he just a closer? If you saw an animal like that wandering around the bullpen what would be the first thing you would think after asking him if he was lost? Probably about every performance enhancing drug in the fucking book right?. His piss is so ridden with PEDs he could probably put it in a bottle and reuse it. Just inject that wild concoction in his ass and let it go to work.
I'm sure no one has forgotten the controversy about his racist and homophobic tendencies (to put it lightly). He was just a Georgia boy lost in a sport that is dominated by the Northeast and the west coast. I was brought to tears when he said of New York Mets fans, "Nowhere else in the country do people spit at you, throw bottles at you, throw quarters at you, throw batteries at you and say, 'Hey, I did your mother last night — she's a whore.' I talked about what degenerates they were and they proved me right." You have to pity a guy who has fucking batteries thrown at him. I mean really, who has batteries in their pockets anyway? Either they're expecting a good old fashion stonin', or maybe they're hoping to be one of a kind hero who just happens to have a few double As in their pocket when the TV remote dies. Also, you have to commend him for revising what that particular fan probably really said. It was probably more like "hey rocker! I fucked your mother last night! Should I go get tested for STDs? Yeah, keep walkin Rocker you fuck."
Anyway, he sells real estate in Georgia now. "Whites only" has got to be somewhere in his brochures and bus bench ads.
"At least 50 times. I've jumped off a building, jumped off a cliff in a car. I've been in bedrooms when women came in with knives and guns."
I want to know what the question was to make Dennis Rodman say this. He has got to be one of the strangest people in the world aside from Gary Busey. This statement makes Mike Vick, Allen Iverson, and Delonte West sound like fucking Bill Shakespeare. If you want to hear this retard make any more absurd comments check Rodman out on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
So Boston College finally fired the terrible Al Skinner. On top of their list for potential replacements is Richmond's Chris Mooney. This job may seem like a promotion, but it definitely wouldn't be for Mooney. His Spiders are a potential pre-season top 25 team, while BC is currently the laughing stock of the ACC. He's building up a program that could be Duke-esque. They have a rare combination of athleticism and intelligence. If he sells out like and goes to a big conference, Richmond would be devastated. Anthony Grant did the exact same thing when he left VCU. He had built a tournament team in a mid-major conference and left to go to Alabama who is a bottom of the barrel SEC team. Money outweighs glory in college sports and it's sad.
Some Butler students with dibs on Final Four tickets have apparently lost their tickets because they have been giving out their login information on the ticket website. Way to make your school look JV as shit before the Final Four even starts. I know it's Butler's first Final Four, but having students try to cheat the ticket system is just disgraceful. Show some respect to the Final Four and be glad that you got lucky enough to make it this far.
Tim Floyd has been offered the head coaching position at UTEP. If you don't remember Tim Floyd, he's the guy who had event planner Rodney Guillory give O.J. Mayo thousands of dollars and other gifts to get him to go to USC. Then, being the cheating asshole he is, came out saying that he was "shocked" that O.J. would come to USC. The whole story was that Mayo just randomly called Floyd who "hadn't even recruited him" and said he would be coming to USC. Bull shit. That's such a classic cover story. How could he have given him money and gifts if he didn't even recruit him? He fucking lied that's how. Colleges, by nature, don't care about the character of their coaches as long as they get wins and money, so of course UTEP would want an experienced coach like Tim Floyd. They have the talent to become a big time mid major program, and unless Floyd reverts back to his cheating ways, they could see this become a reality.
Found this video of Steph Curry's Top 10 plays of his rookie year per NBA.com. Maybe it has something to do with the run and gun offense that Golden State runs, but watching Steph Curry play is extremely enjoyable. If it weren't for Tyreke Evans putting up Carmelo/Lebron rookie numbers, Curry would be a lock for rookie of the year. I'll admit, I didn't think he'd be that good in the NBA this fast, but he really is a playmaker for his team and score both inside and out. He's quickly become one of my favorite players in the league. Enjoy.
Nobody had a more productive summer in terms of improving their draft stock than VCU's Larry Sanders, and no one did more to kill their stock during the season. Everyone expected that with Maynor gone, Sanders would dominate as VCU's number one option. That didn't happen. I mean he put up decent numbers (14.5 points 9.2 rebounds 2.5 blocks) but he was a non-factor late in conference play. I think all the lottery pick talk got to his head. He looked like he thought he didn't need to try against CAA opponents. Scouts learned that he can't take over games on offense without a point guard like Eric Maynor setting him up. He settled for a ton of jumpshots even though he was bigger and more athletic than almost every center in the CAA. All he has going for him that is unique is his freakish 7'6" wingspan. I hope he gets drafted by a team with a dominant post player like the Raptors or Magic so he can learn some things the hard way by getting dominated and embarrassed in practice.
You know what I hate the most about brahs like this? They have somehow become the stereotype for an American college guy. What a fucking disgrace. There's this Irish dude on my golf team who came America for the first time ever back in August. He said he was shocked at what we looked like because he had only seen movies about colleges here, and faggots like this play the "cool" college kids who get fucked up. No, these are the dudes who drink 1 Four Loko and a few Beasts and pass out at 11:30. Apparently these guys were baseball recruits for ECU who stole a beer truck, got caught, and lost their scholarships. I guarantee you they're still living off that story. These are guys who stand outside the party and make comments to people walking by until someone says something back and all three jump him. Sounds like a fun night. The only way that doing that would be cool is if they would say, "I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer...Looks like we're almost outta beer." You can thank guys like this for getting every apartment party shut down at 11.
"I will shoot all you Asian mother fuckers ... Do you remember the Vietnam War? I'll kill y'all just like that."- Jason Williams
Wow. White Chocolate didn't hold back on this Asian dude. I don't know what Michael Cheng said to him. He probably asked him when the next Aryan Brotherhood meeting was. Jason Williams is an oxymoron. He talks like he wants to be black but looks like a skinhead.
Chubbs Peterson is one of the most tragic figures in the history of sports. A black golfing legend with Tiger Woods talent who never got a chance to reach his potential because that damn alligator bit his hand off. Don't think Chubb's didn't get his though. He tore one of that bastard's eyes out and put it in a jar. Pretty sick Chubbs. Anyway, Peterson decided to become a mentor for this young hockey player named Happy. Happy was a real hothead, but Chubbs was good at "easin the tension." Petersons life was cut short after falling out of a window. Fuck you Lee Trevino. Why didn't you catch him?
PS, how did his hand smash? It was made out of wood!
If Epke Udoh decides to stay for his senior year, the Baylor Bears will be unbelievably good. They currently have 6 freshmen, 3 sophomores, 2 juniors and 2 seniors. Throw in the Kevin Durant-like super recruit Perry Jones and freakish athlete Stargell Love, and you've got a lock for next year's Final Four. The only player of any real value that they're losing is Tweety Carter. This is the only thing that could hold them back. Tweety is the heart and soul of the Bears, and history tells us that it's hard for teams to win big games the year after losing a senior leader. I hope head coach Scott Drew can talk Udoh into staying for a national championship run next year, but it looks like he'll be a lottery pick so if I were a Baylor fan, I wouldn't get my hopes up. Anyway, this guy Perry Jones is an absolute monster. He's at least 6'10", has a 7'3" wingspan, can take people off the dribble, shoot the 3, and plays above the rim. Check out his highlights. You don't see high school seniors who are that tall with that kind of coordination very often.
PS, that guy's face at 1:20 is priceless. That move was beyond awesome. PPS, Baylor, seriously, get a better mascot. That thing looks like a character from Barney.
I guess I'm pumped about it because it's the Final Four, but it's a little disappointing because the national championship is being played in the semi finals. Whoever wins the Duke-West Virginia game is a lock to be the champion. It's like the ALCS in baseball. Occasionally a National League team will pull an upset, but the American League will always be the dominant division. Butler and Michigan State have made nice runs, but they just don't have the talent to hang with WVU and Duke. I'm praying for a Butler-Duke championship game. There would be the most white people on the court at one time since the 50s. It would be a knockdown drag out below the rim battle. There's a good chance that we'll get to see that because Duke's playing really well, and Butler is basically playing at home.
Washington DC is ridden with retards making bad decisions left, right, up, and down. You have athletes like Albert Haynesworth, DeAngelo Hall, Clinton Portis, Alexander Ovechkin, Gil, Javaris Crittenton, Andray Blatche, and countless others making the city look like a breeding ground for selfish idiots. Then there are the front office idiots who are running DC sports teams into the ground. Last but not least, we have certain idiots who are running this country into the ground, but I won't get into that. There aren't enough hours in the day for that post. On friday Gilbert Arenas had the biggest blowout victory over the justice system since OJ. Plaxico is rotting in jail while Gilbert is living it up in a halfway house for 30 days. He also got 400 hours of community service which is a joke. Do you know how many charities Gilbert has in DC? He can basically sit at his house and rack up community service hours. The judge did say that his service couldn't be basketball clinics. Ouch. Don't fuck with Robert E. Morin.I swear I got a tougher sentence for my speeding ticket. 25 hours of community service at Goodwill right after Christmas. Talk about getting fucked by a judge. It wasn't even reckless. Morin must be a Wiz season ticket holder because the day after the sentencing, team president Ernie Grunfeld said that Arenas will be a Wizard next year. Anyone want to bet that Morin cut a deal with Grunfeld for better seats next year? Not a big payout though because that's a fucking lock.
The Sports on the Reg team is on a booze fueled weekend excursion. I'll post tournament updates and If you're into getting rich. Use this time to look back into our archives for posts you may have missed.
"If I really wanted to be the scoring champion every single year -- every single year -- I could really do it. But it doesn't matter."- Lebron James
Sure, this is cocky as fuck, but you know its true too. If Lebron played the game like Kobe does he'd be averaging like 35 or more a game easy. To be fair Kobe has become more of a team player in the past few years, but it shouldn't have taken 10 years in the pros for Kobe to realize he's allowed to pass the basketball. Lebron has known that since birth, he's all about getting his teammates involved and they love him for it. You will never hear shit about Lebron being a bad teammate like you've heard about Kobe in the past. I bet to prove his point about this he goes out tonight against the Spurs in San Antonio and drops a nice trip-doub with a line somewhere in the ballpark of 40-13-10. It's all about intangibles. He threw down 38-9-7 the other night against the Hornets. That was his 12th career game with exactly those numbers. Kobe has 2. He's got this team ready to cruise into a EC finals rematch with Magic and then on to the NBA Finals for his first ring.
As I mentioned before, last night went well. The key for tonight is to not get greedy. Just kidding. Get as greedy as you want because these picks are on lockdown.
Ohio State -5 over Tennessee. Evan Turner has been shooting an insulting 31% from the field so far in this tournament, and OSU is stilling winning easily. I expect him to shoot a little better tonight. He probably won't put up 25 points because Tennessee just doesn't allow teams to score many points, but he'll make the big shots and get his teammates involved enough for OSU to win comfortably. I think the score will be something like 65-54.
This is where it gets interesting. I'm saying bet on Baylor -210 on the moneyline. Don't mess with the 5 point spread because St Marys will probably make some late game desperation threes to make the game closer than it actually is. Ekpe Udoh is a fucking monster and will be able to match up well with St. Mary's Omar Samhan. Baylor is just too big and talented to lose in a match up like this.
Northern Iowa +1 over Michigan State. Izzo always finds a way to will his teams to the Sweet 16, but without Kalin Lucas, Sparty's run ends tonight.
The 9 point spread is a little scary in the Duke Purdue game, but the Blue Devils are playing too well to bet against them. Unlike Purdue, Duke is 100% healthy. That little kid with the perfect bracket picked the Boilermakers to win it all. That was ballsy but JV as shit. I mean kids that young aren't expected to make the varsity squad anyway right? Duke wins by at least 12.
So I didn't go 4 for 4, but that's not what being a varsity gambler is about. It's about making mass amounts of money over a long period of time without losing it. Hopefully last night you had two solid wins, a push, and a small loss on the upset pick. $$$$. Check back in a little for the picks for tonight's games.
We have our first repeat offender in the Idiut of the week segment. Tim Tebow. I Stumbled Upon a hilarious article about him today on Spike.com. Apparently he is the most hated person at NFL Draft Camp. One unnamed player said that he needs to become "less of a tool and to stop talking about God so much." I knew this would happen as soon as he left Florida. I just want to shake him and be like "Tim, none of these dudes want to hear about your relationship with God. They aren't looking to be converted. They're looking to get fucking drafted you retard. Just shut the fuck up and be normal." I'm a Christian and all, but I can't stand people like that. Mind your own business. If these guys want to hear about God, they can go to church. Apparently he tried to lead the players in a prayer after they took the Wonderlic exam, and some player told him to "shut the fuck up" and they rest of the players started laughing. I don't feel bad for him. He deserved it.... IDIUT.
How sweet is the show Hard Knocks? It's just more proof that HBO shows make other networks look JV. In case you haven't seen the show, it's an in depth look at the training camp of an NFL team. You get to hear all the shit talking that goes on during drills which is hysterical. You also get to know the players and coaches better. I don't see why any team would ever turn down a chance to be on Hard Knocks. It's hard not to start liking the team that's on it. I can't think of a better team to be on the show than the Jets. They have an eccentric and hilarious coach in Rex Ryan, a pretty-boy 2nd year quarterback in Mark Sanchez, and now a seasoned vet looking to revive his career in LaDainian Tomlinson. Throw in some crazy shit talkers from their terrifying defense, and you've got a cast who has multiple Emmys on lockdown. To make things even better, they're a Superbowl caliber team.
Josh Smith had the play of the month of March last night against the Magic. The game was tied at 84 with 9.9 seconds left on the clock. Joe Johnson, one of the purest shooters of the millennium, took an off balance shot with about two seconds left as J-Smooth stalked the rebound from the perimeter. The ball clanked off the rim. Smith, being a top 5 athlete of all time, came out of nowhere like a goddamn bolt of lightning and executed a flawless one-handed putback dunk as time expired. He literally came out of nowhere. I love the celebration after the play. From 50 seconds to 1.02 he doesn't even know what to do with himself he's so pumped.
It seems like every young player who comes on tour dresses and lookers gayer than the last one. The new young gun, Rickie Fowler, is really raising the bar. He's all about those fucking train conductor hats, white belts, those Euro shoes that don't even look like golf shoes, and big belt buckles. These articles of clothing are looking more and more mainstream every week. It scares me. I've divided the blame for Fowler's gayness into 4 equal parts.
1. It's just the way he is. 2. Puma. Whoever let this Euro soccer company into golf should be put to death. 3. Liberal celebrity culture has leaked into golf. Thanks a lot Justin Timberlake. 4. The media. They really get off to players dressing outlandish and queer. They constantly show guys like Ian Poulter and Camillo Villegas, and they always have to comment on what they're wearing. Golf doesn't come on E! We don't need "fashion correspondent" Marty Hackel in the booth every week describing the players outfits and telling us what's "hot" right now.
Golf used to be a sport played in ties and button-downs, not in mock turtleneck t-shirts, tight lime green pants, and white belts with buckles the size of my fist. I miss the 80s and 90s when guys wore khakis, collared shirts, and visors.
PS, despite his gayness, Rickie Fowler fucking rips it. I can't take that away from him.
"With the money I'm making I should be playing two positions"--Pete Rose
Charlie Hustle not only made big time plays on the diamond to earn big dollar contracts, he also hustled the shit out of bookies by betting on baseball games that he played and managed in. In 1987 when the scandal broke, Rose was wagering $10,000 a game on games he was involved in as manager of the Cincinnati Reds. A lot of people complained he was able to control games and enhance his chances of winning the bets. So what. That's called tipping the odds in your own favor. If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. Rose denied these claims for years, before finally coming clean in 2004. He stands by his claim that he always bet on his team to win, not against them. In my book that's the same as any homer who always bets on his team even though they may suck. It's like Redskins fans guaranteeing they're going to the superbowl every year despite the fact we suck. Why punish and criticize Charlie Hustle all these years for having faith in his team? Shit is weak. Still, the fact of the matter remains he should have kept denying this shit forever and taken it to the grave. That ain't new.
Pete Maravich is one of the greatest basketball players to ever live. I fell in love with Pete Maravich in middle school after watching the movie based on his life, Pistol: The Birth of a Legend. I have watched this movie probably a hundred times and it inspired me to play basketball at a young age. Maravich gives hope to unathletic white guys and shows that basketball IQ is just as an important part of the game as athleticism. The Pistol's fundamentals were off the chart and he holds many records that still stand today. Playing for his father at LSU, Maravich averaged 44 points a game in his three years there. His first ever collegiate game, he scored 50 points, had 14 boards, and 11 assists. It is also worth noting that this was before the three point era and if there was a three point line when he played an expert stated that he would have averaged 13 three's a game which would raise his average to 57 ppg! That's just not possible now a days. Unfortunately, Maravich died when he was only 40, but his unbelievable shots, passes, and determination will live on forever.
If you're into becoming affluent over night, put every cent you have on these 4 picks.
Take Butler at +7 against Syracuse. I'm surprised the spread is that high. Butler has been favored in their 2 previous games, but tonight they're back to their comfort zone as the underdog. I think syracuse will win even without Onuaku, but there is absolutely no possible way that this game gets out of hand.
Washington +4 against West Virginia. This is my upset. The only player on West Virginia who could pass as a point guard on my intramural team is Darryl Bryant, and he broke his foot backpedaling or something in practice. Who knows. History tells us that to win tournament games from the Sweet 16 and on, you absolutely must have an above average point guard to control the ball and the tempo. Washington has the 1-2 punch of PG Isiah Thomas and forward Quincy Pondexter. It's sad because WVU was looking good, but now they're fucked. Washington wins by more than 5.
Kansas State -5 over Xavier. I want Xavier to win so badly because I'm not a Frank Martin fan. I think he's weird. The problem is Jordan Crawford (dunked on Bron) is Xavier's only real threat on offense. His greatness lead them through the first two rounds, but that's as far as they'll go. Pullen and Clemente are just too good.
Kentucky -9 over Cornell. The geeks of Cornell have outsmarted bracketologists by blowing teams out for long enough. Intelligence doesn't get you a win against the athletic freakshow that is Kentucky. Louis Dale and a bunch of white dudes just won't be able to hang with John Wall, Eric Bledsoe, Demarcus Cousins, and Patrick Patterson. There's a mismatch at every single position. Cornell has gotten through the first 2 rounds easily because Temple and Wisconsin didn't have point guards who could match up with Louis Dale. Kentucky does. Two of them in fact, and they will shut down Dale enough to get an easy win. I bet UK wins by more than 12.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I'd like to apologize for the JVness of the website again. I've been talking with Tiny and one of our inspirational aides, and we decided to step up big time. I'm going to start posting at 8:30 in the morning instead of starting in the afternoon. We're also working on starting a Facebook fan page thing so be sure to check that out when our partner in the publicity department finishes it. Make sure you keep telling your friends about Sports on the Reg and start checking it daily again. We've been noticing a huge drop in daily views. That's our bad.
For those of you who forgot or are fucking losers, NBA Jam was, and always will be, the greatest sports game of all time. The word has been out that it's making a comeback for a little over a month now. My initial reaction was one of skepticism because I thought EAsports would butcher it with good graphics and too many effects and all that. Well, the trailer came out a few days ago, and it looks fucking awesome. Just like the old game. The graphics are still shitty which is sweet. I think everyone who played NBA Jam as a kid has busted it out randomly and played some good ol' 2 on 2 for hours. It's more addicting than heroin. I remember jonesin, freaking, and tweaking all at the same time for a taste of NBA Jam. I remember when NBA Jam came out for N64. I was so pumped until I saw that Keith Van Horn was on the cover (pictured below), and I knew they had ruined it. Keith Van Horn is the absolute last player I would I ever want to play with on NBA Jam. They tried to make it more realistic that the original, and it just sucked. This new one looks like a perfect revival. Check out the trailer.
I'd probably die trying, but I think it would be worth it. In this all important offseason where a ideological change must take place at Redskins Park, Fat Al is clinging to the circle of hell where the Redskins have resided the past 20 years, trying to drag us back down. This selfish moron keeps going on interviews all over the place bitching about how he doesn't like the 3-4 and that he doesn't want to workout with his team this season. He keeps bringing up bullshit excuses like he already committing to working with his trainer and that when he worked out with the Redskins last year he wasn't in good enough shape, which is why he didn't have his best year. He keeps telling everyone that his trainer is the only one who can get him in the shape he needs to dominant. You know what dumbass, take some of that $100 mil and fly your fucking trainer to Ashburn and be with your team. You are the $100 million dollar man and whether you understand it or not people or going to look at how you act and replicate it. We can't have that bullshit this year, not again. Its been 10 years of overpaid cuntrags embarrassing me every Sunday, and I can't take it anymore.
Everyone else on the team is buying into what Shannahan and the boys are trying to do in D.C and so far its working. Every player has recognized the immense change in attitude and professionalism at Redskin Park this year, and its going to pay off as long as we don't have a 350 pound anchor pulling us down. Hell, even MeAngelo Hall and Clinton Portis have bought in. As of today, every player on the roster is participating in workouts at Redskins Park 4 times a week, except Fat Al. Shannahan has already said he is incredibly disappointed by Albert's decision, but its apparent Al doesn't give a fuck. In the end, this is simply Haynesworth sending a message to the Redskins that he’ll only play along when he feels like it. He’ll be a Redskin only if he feels he can benefit from it. Otherwise, Haynesworth is happy to be an individual, even if he’s letting down 52 other men in the process.
Well, the NIT, but hey, I'll take it. Most of teams in the NIT are better than the 10-16 seeds in the NCAA tournament anyway. Let's run down the resumes of the teams the Heels have beaten. William & Mary - beat Richmond, Wake Forest, VCU, and Maryland Mississippi State- beat Vandy twice and Ole Miss twice UAB- just Butler, but they were 23-6 in the regular season and are upset specialists
Everyone, including me, thought Carolina would lose to W&M in the first round. I thought they would come out looking lethargic and let the Tribe get open threes on the reg. They look like they've somehow gotten excited about playing basketball like they were when they handled Ohio State and Michigan State earlier this season. Who knows where their effort went in conference play. Larry Drew is finally playing smart, Tyler Zeller is starting to look like the star he could be, and John Hensen is playing like a malnourished Ethiopian on a fucking mission. I still haven't decided if I want them to actually win the NIT because it's embarrassing, but this definitely gives me even more confidence about next year, and I was already predicting a national championship. How weird would it be if they go NCAA champions, NIT champions, NCAA champions in 3 years? That'd be a streak that has never been done and would never be done again.
PS, what ever happened to this logo? It's the best logo in all of sports, and you never see it anymore. It's so 90s.
Andray Blatche was pulled in the first quarter last night for not hustling back on defense. Pretty basic thing for a coach to do right? Apparently this was unacceptable to Andray so he boycotted the rest of the game. He wouldn't go back in the game or even talk to Flip Saunders. Actually, using the word boycott makes it sound like he's an adult. He's more like a 6 year old who wasn't allowed to have desert because he wouldn't eat his broccoli. This is probably the most infuriating thing I've heard in sports in a long time. Some people just don't get it. Blatche has been doing this shit his whole career. He complains about minutes, shots, teammates, and basically anything that doesn't make him look good. I mean he's a really good basketball player, but he just can't become a star until he grows the fuck up. For starters, he needs to get the NBA to take a new picture of him for the website. He's such a thug that he looks like he's trying to intimidate the camera. He's literally snarling. He looks like he's taking his picture for the Blood's yearbook or something.
Anyway, Flip Saunders wasn't too pleased either saying,
"You know what I'm disappointed in? I'm disappointed in that since we started him, 60 percent of the offense is run through him. Coaches aren't wrong, no matter what. When a coach wants to teach you something, and you think you're about that because you've played 16 good games? I mean I coached Kevin Garnett. That guy, you'd say one thing, and he's up there, 'What do you want coach?' He wanted to get better every time. He never copped that type of attitude. That's ridiculous. It really is. I am extremely disappointed. I am the most disappointed I've ever been in 15 years with a player. Most disappointed."
You've successfully ruined your career in DC. Way to go faggot.
Jesus Kansas. I wish I knew exactly how many people chose Kansas, if not to win it all, to at least get to the Final Four. My guess is at least 10 million, and I'm not exaggerating. It's probably more. They probably did some major damage on the amount of people who will watch the rest of the tournament. There has to be a correlation between bracket success and watching the games. People get so crushed when their championship team doesn't even make the Sweet Sixteen that they go into a state of depression when the tournament is even mentioned. They get so attached to their team that it's like a relationship. They love it, check up on it, horde it from others, get jealous when other people have it, and are absolutely crushed when it lets them down. Well Kansas let me down in one of my brackets. Fuck em. I'm still all about my dad's business pool because I have Duke, and they're looking good. Plus I have 4, count em, 4 more total wins than the person in 2nd place, and my best score is 40 points higher than his. I did have Georgetown in the final four but oh well. Syracuse was going to beat them anyway to go to the championship game.
-Arnold Palmer to Ben Roethlisberger after Big Ben told some kids to get the fuck out of his way when they were asking him for an autograph after his round.
Don't underestimate the King. He's all about values, so if you pull shenanigans like that when you're a guest at his club, pack your shit and hurry off the property. I bet Big Ben gave him some lip. You just don't do that to an old badass wearing one of those awesome sweaters with the two buttons who has a drink named after him.
Z's mandatory 30 day restriction on signing with the Cavs ended today. Expect him to be signed and back with the team ASAP. He might be available for their next game on Wednesday, but if I were running the show I'd hold him out till their next home game Sunday so in his first game back he can feel the love from the fans.
On a side note, the Cav's have won 7 straight, and 13/14 without a center on the roster. In other words, they've basically been establishing dominance on anyone and everyone they've encountered.
This signing doesn't really mean much, Rex will either back up JC or be the third stringer if Shanny wants to give Colt Brennan a shot if anything were to happen to JC. Since then, he left Chicago and spent last year as the backup in Houston with new Skins OC Kyle Shannahan. Rex loves throwing the ball deep, here's a pretty accurate description of his thought process during games:
"Is that Berrian? I think he’s triple-covered. You know what? Fuck it. I’m throwing it downfield.
Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.
What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.
Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.
Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.
This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.
How stupid can one person be? Last season, Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli emerged as a future star. He was even being considered as a Heisman candidate for the 2010-2011 season. That is until he decided to get together with running back LaMichael James and place kicker Rob Beard (haha) and steal 2 laptops and a guitar from the SAE house. This stuff seems to happen all the time with college athletes. All these guys have to do is coast for 2-4 years without getting in trouble with the law and they go to the pros and make millions. Doesn't seem that hard right? I mean all he had to do was play one more season, go to the NFL, and fucking buy a laptop. Or 100 laptops. It doesn't matter he'd be a millionaire. The only bright spot in this is that they obviously weren't looking to sell them. Masoli and James probably just wanted laptops and figured rich white dudes had awesome ones. Maybe even a Mac or something. I think Rob Beard tagged along because he was looking for a new axe so he could work on a music career because football wasn't working out.
"The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta...The major championships have always been a special focus in my career and, as a professional, I think Augusta is where I need to be, even though it's been a while since I last played." - Tiger Woods
Thank God Tiger is coming back. The thought of watching golf hasn't even crossed my mind this year. I love golf, but Tiger is what makes me a fan of it. It isn't a surprise that he's coming back at the Masters considering his history there and also the controlled nature of the fans and media. There was some talk of him returning at Bay Hill. This would have been smart from a golf standpoint because of how dominant he is there, but I think returning at the Masters is smart for his image. I really hope he's in contention so me and the rest of the folks at my school can have a more enjoyable recovery on Greek Week Sunday.
PS, and the Reggie for most unsuccessful high five goes to...Tiger and Stevie. Unless they were going for the classic forearm connection.
If someone asked you who the best basketball player to come out of Oakland was, what would you say? If you thought of Jason Kidd, Drew Gooden, Gary Payton, Brian Shaw, or Antonio Davis you'd be wrong. Every single one of these guys will swear to you that the best player from Oakland is Demetrius "Hook" Mitchell. Hook grew up on the mean streets of Oaktown and played street ball with all these NBA ballers growing up. Hook never made it to the NBA because he predictably fell into a life of drugs and crime and ended up in the slammer. He's only 5'9, but can throw down some of the most ridiculous dunks ever. Hook says he started dunking at 5'3, and shattered a backboard on a dunk when he was only 5'5. Jason Kidd said his skills don't even compare to Hooks. "If he'd just kept his head straight, he'd be dominating in the NBA right now." Brian Shaw compares him to a multitude of NBA stars, "He could handle the ball with the Marbury's and the Iversons. He had the competitiveness of Michael Jordan." Pretty high praise coming from some lifetime NBAer's. Too bad he fucked it all up. Hook tried out for the Warriors when he got out of jail, but got cut because he was old as F. Now he's a AAU coach for a well known team in Oakland. (go figure) Anyways, theres no denying Hook could throw it down. Here's some videos to feast on.
So Virginia Tech was denied access to the big dance again. They probably deserved to get in this year more than the previous seasons, so me and my imagination decided to get to the bottom if this annual occurrence. Before I rant about Tech, I'd like to say that my parents went there so I kinda like them. Okay so the obvious reason they didn't get in is their non conference strength of schedule. I don't know exactly what goes into the schedule making process, but I really don't know why they can't get decent teams outside of the ACC to play them. The only in state teams they played were VMI and fucking Longwood. For Tech to begin to build a good non conference schedule they need to man up and play Richmond, VCU, or ODU. They probably have some ACC superiority complex where they think they're too good to play small state schools if they aren't a guaranteed blowout. A less obvious reason why they never get at large bids is their thuggery. There's always a potential for a guns drawn brawl when the Hokies take the floor. Also, the NCAA doesn't want to see Jeff Allen give another ref a shoulder bump while walking to the bench after fouling out. That was one of the most boneheaded things I've ever seen a college player do. Lastly, I think the tournament committee gets some sick satisfaction from hearing Seth Greenberg whine after not getting invited. I bet right after the selection show, they gather around the TV with superbowl type snacks and beers to listen to him. It's funny how he always seems to call Sportscenter like 5 seconds after the show. It's like Groundhog Day. He used some restraint this year unlike that time when he said that the committee should be institutionalized. Anyway, Virginia Tech basketball will probably continue to be the only ACC team who can't get in the tournament without winning the conference tournament. I mean they were only allowed in the ACC for their football program anyway right?
Tournament time is finally here which means there is Christmas/Easter/Birthday combined excitement for the Sports on the Reg squad. Being a self-proclaimed "bracketologist," I want to take some time to break down some key matchups in each region. I can't reveal too much because I'll be taking a lot of ya'lls money in bracket pools, but I can share some of my opinions.
Midwest Region
This might be the most poorly constructed region in the last decade. How on Earth did the tournament committee put Kansas, Michigan State, Maryland, Oklahoma State, Georgetown, and Ohio State in the same fucking region? It's like they thought "Oh let's put the most dangerous championship contenders in the same region so they have a better chance of playing each other. That'll get people to watch the early rounds." Great fucking going dudes. Maybe I'm the only one, but I really wanted to see Ohio State play Kansas for the Championship. Also they stacked the bottom half of the region and gave Kansas a fucking cakewalk (whatever that means) to the Elite 8. I'm only looking forward to watching one first round game in this region. Oklahoma State vs Georgia Tech. It'll be a classic finesse (Okst) against power (GT) game. Georgia Tech probably won't get the win, but it'll be close. I'm putting Tennessee on the upset watch in the 6-11 matchup against San Diego State. San Diego State beat UNLV twice this year and have 2 pure shooters in D.J. Gay and Chase Tapley. Tennessee just doesn't put up enough points to win tournament games. I thought their size would help them win, but sdst just happens to start 3 guys who are 6'7" or taller. This might be the only upset in the first round of this region. Northern Iowa 9 will beat UNLV 8, but that's not an upset because I'm pretty sure 9 seeds win the 8-9 matchup more than 8 seeds.
West Region
This might be the weakest region in the bracket. Syracuse and K-State are good but not Kansas Ohio State good. Look for Syracuse to lose to Butler in the Sweet 16. That is if Butler can squeak by UTEP in the first round. The first round matchup with the most upset potential is Murray State 13 vs Vandy 4. I think if K-State can lockdown BYU's shooters in the 2nd round, they will end up beating Butler in the Elite 8 to go to the Final Four.
East Region
This is my favorite region because a Kentucky West Virginia matchup in the Elite 8 is basically a lock. I'm so excited to see two big, athletic, and immature teams get extremely physical. That game will get so chippy that it could come down to who brought their gun to the arena. Everything about this matchup is perfect, but I'm not going to tell you who is going to win it. Everyone is high on Cornell because of their combination of size and shooting, but I think they will lose to Temple in the first round. I think Rick Barnes gets his shit together enough to beat Wake in the first round. Upset watch: Washington over Marquette in the 6-11 matchup.
South Region
The only team in this region that interests me at all is Richmond. I think they got fucked by drawing Saint Mary's in the first round, but they'll still win. I'm praying for a Richmond vs Duke Elite 8 matchup. It's very possible considering the Arachnids, if they get out of the first round, only have to beat Nova and Notre Dame to get there. Duke will casually stroll to the Elite 8 then have a low scoring and liberal battle of the brains with Richmond. Duke will win because of free throw shooting down the stretch. As Slam mentioned, Purdue is on upset watch in their 5-12 matchup with giant killer extraordinaire Siena.
The time has come for most exciting venue in all of sports: The NCAA Basketball Tournament. After watching some unforgettable conference tourneys it's now time to find out who the best team in the nation is. I just watched bracketology and was pretty content with the way things turned out. I was ecstatic to see that the ghetto Virginia Tech basketball team led by one of the biggest scumbags on earth Seth Greenberg missed the cut. For those of you who don't know, Seth Greenberg wouldn't even give Stephen Curry a chance to walk-on to the Hokie basketball team because he wasn't big enough. Great call there.
My first piece of advice when filling out your bracket is to look out for the potentially dangerous underdogs that have a history of upsetting the top seeds. For example, Siena always seems to make the tourney and they are a playing Purdue team without their best player (Robbie Hummel) so pick Siena to advance. Another upset waiting to happen is San Diego State over the Tennessee Vols. (Does anyone else wonder how Wayne Chism's headband stays on his head during the game?) If Georgia Tech beats Oklahoma State, I wouldn't be surprised to see them upset #2 seed Ohio State and Evan Turner in the second round. Either way that has the potential to be one of the most exciting games of the tourney with Turner going up against Derek Favors and Gani Lawal. I see Villanova advancing to the elite 8 but I guarantee they will have a very tough battle against Richmond assuming the Spiders beat Saint Marys. This game matches up two of the best backcourts in the country with Corey Fisher and Scottie Reynolds taking on Kevin Anderson and David Gonzalvez.
This is my first draft and I may change it between now and Thursday, but my Elite 8 is shaping up like this: Kansas, Georgetown, Syracuse, Pittsburgh, Kentucky, West Virginia, Villanova, and Duke. I know there aren't many upsets here and I wouldn't be surprised if some of these teams lose early but this is what I'm going with because I can see some other top seeds (Kansas State, Baylor, Purdue, New Mexico) exiting early due to lack of tournament experience. I see Kansas, Syracuse, Kentucky, and Villanova in the Final Four with Kansas and Bill Self beating the "King of all scumbags" John Calipari and Kentucky in the championship. I see this year being a repeat of 08 when Kansas beat Memphis (then coached by Calipari) in the finals. The parallels between the 08 season and now are ridiculously similiar in that Memphis had then freshman Derek Rose leading them and taking on an experienced Kansas team led by senior Mario Chalmers. This year it will be John Wall taking on the seasoned vet and senior leader Sherron Collins. History shows championship teams always have a consistent point guard with a good assist to turnover ratio and experienced players who rebound and make free throws. Kansas is the only team, in my opinion, that fills this void and this is why I see them taking home the ship.
