NBA Draft Profile---Larry Sanders

Nobody had a more productive summer in terms of improving their draft stock than VCU's Larry Sanders, and no one did more to kill their stock during the season. Everyone expected that with Maynor gone, Sanders would dominate as VCU's number one option. That didn't happen. I mean he put up decent numbers (14.5 points 9.2 rebounds 2.5 blocks) but he was a non-factor late in conference play. I think all the lottery pick talk got to his head. He looked like he thought he didn't need to try against CAA opponents. Scouts learned that he can't take over games on offense without a point guard like Eric Maynor setting him up. He settled for a ton of jumpshots even though he was bigger and more athletic than almost every center in the CAA. All he has going for him that is unique is his freakish 7'6" wingspan. I hope he gets drafted by a team with a dominant post player like the Raptors or Magic so he can learn some things the hard way by getting dominated and embarrassed in practice.

Everyone's Doing It

Streakers at sporting events are fucking hilarious. Here's a compiled video list of some good ones.

Yeah Bro!

You know what I hate the most about brahs like this? They have somehow become the stereotype for an American college guy. What a fucking disgrace. There's this Irish dude on my golf team who came America for the first time ever back in August. He said he was shocked at what we looked like because he had only seen movies about colleges here, and faggots like this play the "cool" college kids who get fucked up. No, these are the dudes who drink 1 Four Loko and a few Beasts and pass out at 11:30. Apparently these guys were baseball recruits for ECU who stole a beer truck, got caught, and lost their scholarships. I guarantee you they're still living off that story. These are guys who stand outside the party and make comments to people walking by until someone says something back and all three jump him. Sounds like a fun night. The only way that doing that would be cool is if they would say, "I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer...Looks like we're almost outta beer." You can thank guys like this for getting every apartment party shut down at 11.

Quote of the Day

"I will shoot all you Asian mother fuckers ... Do you remember the Vietnam War? I'll kill y'all just like that."- Jason Williams

Wow. White Chocolate didn't hold back on this Asian dude. I don't know what Michael Cheng said to him. He probably asked him when the next Aryan Brotherhood meeting was. Jason Williams is an oxymoron. He talks like he wants to be black but looks like a skinhead.





Check out the resemblance. It's uncanny.

Athlete of the Day---Chubbs Peterson

Chubbs Peterson is one of the most tragic figures in the history of sports. A black golfing legend with Tiger Woods talent who never got a chance to reach his potential because that damn alligator bit his hand off. Don't think Chubb's didn't get his though. He tore one of that bastard's eyes out and put it in a jar. Pretty sick Chubbs. Anyway, Peterson decided to become a mentor for this young hockey player named Happy. Happy was a real hothead, but Chubbs was good at "easin the tension." Petersons life was cut short after falling out of a window. Fuck you Lee Trevino. Why didn't you catch him?




PS, how did his hand smash? It was made out of wood!

How Good is Baylor Going to be Next Year?

If Epke Udoh decides to stay for his senior year, the Baylor Bears will be unbelievably good. They currently have 6 freshmen, 3 sophomores, 2 juniors and 2 seniors. Throw in the Kevin Durant-like super recruit Perry Jones and freakish athlete Stargell Love, and you've got a lock for next year's Final Four. The only player of any real value that they're losing is Tweety Carter. This is the only thing that could hold them back. Tweety is the heart and soul of the Bears, and history tells us that it's hard for teams to win big games the year after losing a senior leader. I hope head coach Scott Drew can talk Udoh into staying for a national championship run next year, but it looks like he'll be a lottery pick so if I were a Baylor fan, I wouldn't get my hopes up. Anyway, this guy Perry Jones is an absolute monster. He's at least 6'10", has a 7'3" wingspan, can take people off the dribble, shoot the 3, and plays above the rim. Check out his highlights. You don't see high school seniors who are that tall with that kind of coordination very often.



PS, that guy's face at 1:20 is priceless. That move was beyond awesome.
PPS, Baylor, seriously, get a better mascot. That thing looks like a character from Barney.

The Final Four is Set

I guess I'm pumped about it because it's the Final Four, but it's a little disappointing because the national championship is being played in the semi finals. Whoever wins the Duke-West Virginia game is a lock to be the champion. It's like the ALCS in baseball. Occasionally a National League team will pull an upset, but the American League will always be the dominant division. Butler and Michigan State have made nice runs, but they just don't have the talent to hang with WVU and Duke. I'm praying for a Butler-Duke championship game. There would be the most white people on the court at one time since the 50s. It would be a knockdown drag out below the rim battle. There's a good chance that we'll get to see that because Duke's playing really well, and Butler is basically playing at home.

Gil is Still the King of DC

Washington DC is ridden with retards making bad decisions left, right, up, and down. You have athletes like Albert Haynesworth, DeAngelo Hall, Clinton Portis, Alexander Ovechkin, Gil, Javaris Crittenton, Andray Blatche, and countless others making the city look like a breeding ground for selfish idiots. Then there are the front office idiots who are running DC sports teams into the ground. Last but not least, we have certain idiots who are running this country into the ground, but I won't get into that. There aren't enough hours in the day for that post. On friday Gilbert Arenas had the biggest blowout victory over the justice system since OJ. Plaxico is rotting in jail while Gilbert is living it up in a halfway house for 30 days. He also got 400 hours of community service which is a joke. Do you know how many charities Gilbert has in DC? He can basically sit at his house and rack up community service hours. The judge did say that his service couldn't be basketball clinics. Ouch. Don't fuck with Robert E. Morin.I swear I got a tougher sentence for my speeding ticket. 25 hours of community service at Goodwill right after Christmas. Talk about getting fucked by a judge. It wasn't even reckless. Morin must be a Wiz season ticket holder because the day after the sentencing, team president Ernie Grunfeld said that Arenas will be a Wizard next year. Anyone want to bet that Morin cut a deal with Grunfeld for better seats next year? Not a big payout though because that's a fucking lock.

(Shit-Hammered) Athlete of the Day---Matt Leinart

The Sports on the Reg team is on a booze fueled weekend excursion. I'll post tournament updates and If you're into getting rich. Use this time to look back into our archives for posts you may have missed.


Sports Jesus

Quote of the Day

"If I really wanted to be the scoring champion every single year -- every single year -- I could really do it. But it doesn't matter."- Lebron James

Sure, this is cocky as fuck, but you know its true too. If Lebron played the game like Kobe does he'd be averaging like 35 or more a game easy. To be fair Kobe has become more of a team player in the past few years, but it shouldn't have taken 10 years in the pros for Kobe to realize he's allowed to pass the basketball. Lebron has known that since birth, he's all about getting his teammates involved and they love him for it. You will never hear shit about Lebron being a bad teammate like you've heard about Kobe in the past. I bet to prove his point about this he goes out tonight against the Spurs in San Antonio and drops a nice trip-doub with a line somewhere in the ballpark of 40-13-10. It's all about intangibles. He threw down 38-9-7 the other night against the Hornets. That was his 12th career game with exactly those numbers. Kobe has 2. He's got this team ready to cruise into a EC finals rematch with Magic and then on to the NBA Finals for his first ring.

If You're Into Getting Rich

As I mentioned before, last night went well. The key for tonight is to not get greedy. Just kidding. Get as greedy as you want because these picks are on lockdown.


Ohio State -5 over Tennessee. Evan Turner has been shooting an insulting 31% from the field so far in this tournament, and OSU is stilling winning easily. I expect him to shoot a little better tonight. He probably won't put up 25 points because Tennessee just doesn't allow teams to score many points, but he'll make the big shots and get his teammates involved enough for OSU to win comfortably. I think the score will be something like 65-54.

This is where it gets interesting. I'm saying bet on Baylor -210 on the moneyline. Don't mess with the 5 point spread because St Marys will probably make some late game desperation threes to make the game closer than it actually is. Ekpe Udoh is a fucking monster and will be able to match up well with St. Mary's Omar Samhan. Baylor is just too big and talented to lose in a match up like this.

Northern Iowa +1 over Michigan State. Izzo always finds a way to will his teams to the Sweet 16, but without Kalin Lucas, Sparty's run ends tonight.

The 9 point spread is a little scary in the Duke Purdue game, but the Blue Devils are playing too well to bet against them. Unlike Purdue, Duke is 100% healthy. That little kid with the perfect bracket picked the Boilermakers to win it all. That was ballsy but JV as shit. I mean kids that young aren't expected to make the varsity squad anyway right? Duke wins by at least 12.

Is Being This Good at Sports Betting Legal?

So I didn't go 4 for 4, but that's not what being a varsity gambler is about. It's about making mass amounts of money over a long period of time without losing it. Hopefully last night you had two solid wins, a push, and a small loss on the upset pick. $$$$. Check back in a little for the picks for tonight's games.

Sweet 16 Update

1 game down 3 to go. You're welcome for that Butler pick. Hopefully you bet the house on it. Washington needs to make a late run.

IDIUT of the Week

We have our first repeat offender in the Idiut of the week segment. Tim Tebow. I Stumbled Upon a hilarious article about him today on Spike.com. Apparently he is the most hated person at NFL Draft Camp. One unnamed player said that he needs to become "less of a tool and to stop talking about God so much." I knew this would happen as soon as he left Florida. I just want to shake him and be like "Tim, none of these dudes want to hear about your relationship with God. They aren't looking to be converted. They're looking to get fucking drafted you retard. Just shut the fuck up and be normal." I'm a Christian and all, but I can't stand people like that. Mind your own business. If these guys want to hear about God, they can go to church. Apparently he tried to lead the players in a prayer after they took the Wonderlic exam, and some player told him to "shut the fuck up" and they rest of the players started laughing. I don't feel bad for him. He deserved it.... IDIUT.

I Can't Wait for the New Season of Hard Knocks

How sweet is the show Hard Knocks? It's just more proof that HBO shows make other networks look JV. In case you haven't seen the show, it's an in depth look at the training camp of an NFL team. You get to hear all the shit talking that goes on during drills which is hysterical. You also get to know the players and coaches better. I don't see why any team would ever turn down a chance to be on Hard Knocks. It's hard not to start liking the team that's on it. I can't think of a better team to be on the show than the Jets. They have an eccentric and hilarious coach in Rex Ryan, a pretty-boy 2nd year quarterback in Mark Sanchez, and now a seasoned vet looking to revive his career in LaDainian Tomlinson. Throw in some crazy shit talkers from their terrifying defense, and you've got a cast who has multiple Emmys on lockdown. To make things even better, they're a Superbowl caliber team.

Amazing Highlight From Last Night

Josh Smith had the play of the month of March last night against the Magic. The game was tied at 84 with 9.9 seconds left on the clock. Joe Johnson, one of the purest shooters of the millennium, took an off balance shot with about two seconds left as J-Smooth stalked the rebound from the perimeter. The ball clanked off the rim. Smith, being a top 5 athlete of all time, came out of nowhere like a goddamn bolt of lightning and executed a flawless one-handed putback dunk as time expired. He literally came out of nowhere. I love the celebration after the play. From 50 seconds to 1.02 he doesn't even know what to do with himself he's so pumped.

Golf's Newest Fag

It seems like every young player who comes on tour dresses and lookers gayer than the last one. The new young gun, Rickie Fowler, is really raising the bar. He's all about those fucking train conductor hats, white belts, those Euro shoes that don't even look like golf shoes, and big belt buckles. These articles of clothing are looking more and more mainstream every week. It scares me. I've divided the blame for Fowler's gayness into 4 equal parts.

1. It's just the way he is.
2. Puma. Whoever let this Euro soccer company into golf should be put to death.
3. Liberal celebrity culture has leaked into golf. Thanks a lot Justin Timberlake.
4. The media. They really get off to players dressing outlandish and queer. They constantly show guys like Ian Poulter and Camillo Villegas, and they always have to comment on what they're wearing. Golf doesn't come on E! We don't need "fashion correspondent" Marty Hackel in the booth every week describing the players outfits and telling us what's "hot" right now.

Golf used to be a sport played in ties and button-downs, not in mock turtleneck t-shirts, tight lime green pants, and white belts with buckles the size of my fist. I miss the 80s and 90s when guys wore khakis, collared shirts, and visors.


PS, despite his gayness, Rickie Fowler fucking rips it. I can't take that away from him.

Quote of the Day

"With the money I'm making I should be playing two positions"--Pete Rose

Charlie Hustle not only made big time plays on the diamond to earn big dollar contracts, he also hustled the shit out of bookies by betting on baseball games that he played and managed in. In 1987 when the scandal broke, Rose was wagering $10,000 a game on games he was involved in as manager of the Cincinnati Reds. A lot of people complained he was able to control games and enhance his chances of winning the bets. So what. That's called tipping the odds in your own favor. If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. Rose denied these claims for years, before finally coming clean in 2004. He stands by his claim that he always bet on his team to win, not against them. In my book that's the same as any homer who always bets on his team even though they may suck. It's like Redskins fans guaranteeing they're going to the superbowl every year despite the fact we suck. Why punish and criticize Charlie Hustle all these years for having faith in his team? Shit is weak. Still, the fact of the matter remains he should have kept denying this shit forever and taken it to the grave. That ain't new.

Roundball Rock: The Greatest Sports Song Ever

Holy Fuck this is an awesome song. I would go nuts if someone put this on at a frat party. The only thing it needs? More cow bell.

Athlete of the Day---"Pistol" Pete Maravich

Pete Maravich is one of the greatest basketball players to ever live. I fell in love with Pete Maravich in middle school after watching the movie based on his life, Pistol: The Birth of a Legend. I have watched this movie probably a hundred times and it inspired me to play basketball at a young age. Maravich gives hope to unathletic white guys and shows that basketball IQ is just as an important part of the game as athleticism. The Pistol's fundamentals were off the chart and he holds many records that still stand today. Playing for his father at LSU, Maravich averaged 44 points a game in his three years there. His first ever collegiate game, he scored 50 points, had 14 boards, and 11 assists. It is also worth noting that this was before the three point era and if there was a three point line when he played an expert stated that he would have averaged 13 three's a game which would raise his average to 57 ppg! That's just not possible now a days. Unfortunately, Maravich died when he was only 40, but his unbelievable shots, passes, and determination will live on forever.

If You're Into Getting Rich

If you're into becoming affluent over night, put every cent you have on these 4 picks.

Take Butler at +7 against Syracuse. I'm surprised the spread is that high. Butler has been favored in their 2 previous games, but tonight they're back to their comfort zone as the underdog. I think syracuse will win even without Onuaku, but there is absolutely no possible way that this game gets out of hand.

Washington +4 against West Virginia. This is my upset. The only player on West Virginia who could pass as a point guard on my intramural team is Darryl Bryant, and he broke his foot backpedaling or something in practice. Who knows. History tells us that to win tournament games from the Sweet 16 and on, you absolutely must have an above average point guard to control the ball and the tempo. Washington has the 1-2 punch of PG Isiah Thomas and forward Quincy Pondexter. It's sad because WVU was looking good, but now they're fucked. Washington wins by more than 5.

Kansas State -5 over Xavier. I want Xavier to win so badly because I'm not a Frank Martin fan. I think he's weird. The problem is Jordan Crawford (dunked on Bron) is Xavier's only real threat on offense. His greatness lead them through the first two rounds, but that's as far as they'll go. Pullen and Clemente are just too good.

Kentucky -9 over Cornell. The geeks of Cornell have outsmarted bracketologists by blowing teams out for long enough. Intelligence doesn't get you a win against the athletic freakshow that is Kentucky. Louis Dale and a bunch of white dudes just won't be able to hang with John Wall, Eric Bledsoe, Demarcus Cousins, and Patrick Patterson. There's a mismatch at every single position. Cornell has gotten through the first 2 rounds easily because Temple and Wisconsin didn't have point guards who could match up with Louis Dale. Kentucky does. Two of them in fact, and they will shut down Dale enough to get an easy win. I bet UK wins by more than 12.

I'd like to apologize for the JVness of the website again. I've been talking with Tiny and one of our inspirational aides, and we decided to step up big time. I'm going to start posting at 8:30 in the morning instead of starting in the afternoon. We're also working on starting a Facebook fan page thing so be sure to check that out when our partner in the publicity department finishes it. Make sure you keep telling your friends about Sports on the Reg and start checking it daily again. We've been noticing a huge drop in daily views. That's our bad.

He's Heating Up...HE'S ON FIRE!!!

For those of you who forgot or are fucking losers, NBA Jam was, and always will be, the greatest sports game of all time. The word has been out that it's making a comeback for a little over a month now. My initial reaction was one of skepticism because I thought EAsports would butcher it with good graphics and too many effects and all that. Well, the trailer came out a few days ago, and it looks fucking awesome. Just like the old game. The graphics are still shitty which is sweet. I think everyone who played NBA Jam as a kid has busted it out randomly and played some good ol' 2 on 2 for hours. It's more addicting than heroin. I remember jonesin, freaking, and tweaking all at the same time for a taste of NBA Jam. I remember when NBA Jam came out for N64. I was so pumped until I saw that Keith Van Horn was on the cover (pictured below), and I knew they had ruined it. Keith Van Horn is the absolute last player I would I ever want to play with on NBA Jam. They tried to make it more realistic that the original, and it just sucked. This new one looks like a perfect revival. Check out the trailer.

I Want to Punch Albert Haynesworth in the Fucking Face

I'd probably die trying, but I think it would be worth it. In this all important offseason where a ideological change must take place at Redskins Park, Fat Al is clinging to the circle of hell where the Redskins have resided the past 20 years, trying to drag us back down. This selfish moron keeps going on interviews all over the place bitching about how he doesn't like the 3-4 and that he doesn't want to workout with his team this season. He keeps bringing up bullshit excuses like he already committing to working with his trainer and that when he worked out with the Redskins last year he wasn't in good enough shape, which is why he didn't have his best year. He keeps telling everyone that his trainer is the only one who can get him in the shape he needs to dominant. You know what dumbass, take some of that $100 mil and fly your fucking trainer to Ashburn and be with your team. You are the $100 million dollar man and whether you understand it or not people or going to look at how you act and replicate it. We can't have that bullshit this year, not again. Its been 10 years of overpaid cuntrags embarrassing me every Sunday, and I can't take it anymore.

Everyone else on the team is buying into what Shannahan and the boys are trying to do in D.C and so far its working. Every player has recognized the immense change in attitude and professionalism at Redskin Park this year, and its going to pay off as long as we don't have a 350 pound anchor pulling us down. Hell, even MeAngelo Hall and Clinton Portis have bought in. As of today, every player on the roster is participating in workouts at Redskins Park 4 times a week, except Fat Al. Shannahan has already said he is incredibly disappointed by Albert's decision, but its apparent Al doesn't give a fuck. In the end, this is simply Haynesworth sending a message to the Redskins that he’ll only play along when he feels like it. He’ll be a Redskin only if he feels he can benefit from it. Otherwise, Haynesworth is happy to be an individual, even if he’s letting down 52 other men in the process.

Carolina Owns the Tournament

Well, the NIT, but hey, I'll take it. Most of teams in the NIT are better than the 10-16 seeds in the NCAA tournament anyway. Let's run down the resumes of the teams the Heels have beaten.
William & Mary - beat Richmond, Wake Forest, VCU, and Maryland
Mississippi State- beat Vandy twice and Ole Miss twice
UAB- just Butler, but they were 23-6 in the regular season and are upset specialists

Everyone, including me, thought Carolina would lose to W&M in the first round. I thought they would come out looking lethargic and let the Tribe get open threes on the reg. They look like they've somehow gotten excited about playing basketball like they were when they handled Ohio State and Michigan State earlier this season. Who knows where their effort went in conference play. Larry Drew is finally playing smart, Tyler Zeller is starting to look like the star he could be, and John Hensen is playing like a malnourished Ethiopian on a fucking mission. I still haven't decided if I want them to actually win the NIT because it's embarrassing, but this definitely gives me even more confidence about next year, and I was already predicting a national championship. How weird would it be if they go NCAA champions, NIT champions, NCAA champions in 3 years? That'd be a streak that has never been done and would never be done again.


PS, what ever happened to this logo? It's the best logo in all of sports, and you never see it anymore. It's so 90s.

More of the Same From Andray

Andray Blatche was pulled in the first quarter last night for not hustling back on defense. Pretty basic thing for a coach to do right? Apparently this was unacceptable to Andray so he boycotted the rest of the game. He wouldn't go back in the game or even talk to Flip Saunders. Actually, using the word boycott makes it sound like he's an adult. He's more like a 6 year old who wasn't allowed to have desert because he wouldn't eat his broccoli. This is probably the most infuriating thing I've heard in sports in a long time. Some people just don't get it. Blatche has been doing this shit his whole career. He complains about minutes, shots, teammates, and basically anything that doesn't make him look good. I mean he's a really good basketball player, but he just can't become a star until he grows the fuck up. For starters, he needs to get the NBA to take a new picture of him for the website. He's such a thug that he looks like he's trying to intimidate the camera. He's literally snarling. He looks like he's taking his picture for the Blood's yearbook or something.

Anyway, Flip Saunders wasn't too pleased either saying,

"You know what I'm disappointed in? I'm disappointed in that since we started him, 60 percent of the offense is run through him. Coaches aren't wrong, no matter what. When a coach wants to teach you something, and you think you're about that because you've played 16 good games? I mean I coached Kevin Garnett. That guy, you'd say one thing, and he's up there, 'What do you want coach?' He wanted to get better every time. He never copped that type of attitude. That's ridiculous. It really is. I am extremely disappointed. I am the most disappointed I've ever been in 15 years with a player. Most disappointed."

You've successfully ruined your career in DC. Way to go faggot.

PS, he's the guy on the left

How Did This Happen?

Jesus Kansas. I wish I knew exactly how many people chose Kansas, if not to win it all, to at least get to the Final Four. My guess is at least 10 million, and I'm not exaggerating. It's probably more. They probably did some major damage on the amount of people who will watch the rest of the tournament. There has to be a correlation between bracket success and watching the games. People get so crushed when their championship team doesn't even make the Sweet Sixteen that they go into a state of depression when the tournament is even mentioned. They get so attached to their team that it's like a relationship. They love it, check up on it, horde it from others, get jealous when other people have it, and are absolutely crushed when it lets them down. Well Kansas let me down in one of my brackets. Fuck em. I'm still all about my dad's business pool because I have Duke, and they're looking good. Plus I have 4, count em, 4 more total wins than the person in 2nd place, and my best score is 40 points higher than his. I did have Georgetown in the final four but oh well. Syracuse was going to beat them anyway to go to the championship game.

Quote of the Day

"Get the fuck out of my club."

-Arnold Palmer to Ben Roethlisberger after Big Ben told some kids to get the fuck out of his way when they were asking him for an autograph after his round.


Don't underestimate the King. He's all about values, so if you pull shenanigans like that when you're a guest at his club, pack your shit and hurry off the property. I bet Big Ben gave him some lip. You just don't do that to an old badass wearing one of those awesome sweaters with the two buttons who has a drink named after him.

Lets Get it up for Z

Z's mandatory 30 day restriction on signing with the Cavs ended today. Expect him to be signed and back with the team ASAP. He might be available for their next game on Wednesday, but if I were running the show I'd hold him out till their next home game Sunday so in his first game back he can feel the love from the fans.

On a side note, the Cav's have won 7 straight, and 13/14 without a center on the roster. In other words, they've basically been establishing dominance on anyone and everyone they've encountered.