John "the Grand Wizard" Rocker is the athlete of the day. I mean look at that physique. Perfect for rippin homers over center. Wait a minute. Wasn't the he just a closer? If you saw an animal like that wandering around the bullpen what would be the first thing you would think after asking him if he was lost? Probably about every performance enhancing drug in the fucking book right?. His piss is so ridden with PEDs he could probably put it in a bottle and reuse it. Just inject that wild concoction in his ass and let it go to work.
I'm sure no one has forgotten the controversy about his racist and homophobic tendencies (to put it lightly). He was just a Georgia boy lost in a sport that is dominated by the Northeast and the west coast. I was brought to tears when he said of New York Mets fans, "Nowhere else in the country do people spit at you, throw bottles at you, throw quarters at you, throw batteries at you and say, 'Hey, I did your mother last night — she's a whore.' I talked about what degenerates they were and they proved me right." You have to pity a guy who has fucking batteries thrown at him. I mean really, who has batteries in their pockets anyway? Either they're expecting a good old fashion stonin', or maybe they're hoping to be one of a kind hero who just happens to have a few double As in their pocket when the TV remote dies. Also, you have to commend him for revising what that particular fan probably really said. It was probably more like "hey rocker! I fucked your mother last night! Should I go get tested for STDs? Yeah, keep walkin Rocker you fuck."
Anyway, he sells real estate in Georgia now. "Whites only" has got to be somewhere in his brochures and bus bench ads.
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